They Don't Know About Us

Breathe Me

I woke up the next morning at around eight. I have classes starting at nine, so I better get ready. I changed out of my pajamas and into a new outfit. I put on a loose jumper, a pair of jeans, some moccasin pumps, mascara, and some jewelry. I grabbed my book bag from my room, and headed downstairs, to see that the kitchen was barren. The boys probably want to sleep in, so I'll just drive myself to school. Maybe, if I get to school early, then I can get some extra studying in. I grabbed a breakfast bar and threw my coat on. My book bag was flung over my shoulder and I headed out the door.
*


It took a couple minutes to reach the campus. It was only 8:30, so I have thirty minutes to get some extra studying in. I headed over to the library and sat at my own table near the back. I pulled my book out of my bag. The book was set on the table, and I flipped open to the correct page. After a couple minutes of studying, I heard someone sit in the seat across from me. I looked up to see Rain. She looked over at me, and smiled, almost as if it was in a nervous way.

"Hi," I said, politely.

"Oh, hey," She replied. There was a moment of silence. Rain was nervously messing with the ends of her hair, "U-Um, Nicole?" She asked, nervously. I looked up from my text book, "Hm?"

"I-I just wanted to say I'm sorry," Rain apologized. I frowned, "Sorry for what?" I asked, confused. Rain looked back up into my eyes, "B-Because I sort of yelled at you at the party. I feel really bad about it..."

"It's okay, don't worry about it. I understand that you didn't want me kissing Chase. I thought he was Ni-"

"Why would I care if you kissed Chase?" Rain interrupted. I'm almost positive she knows why, "Can it be any more obvious, Rain?" I asked, "You obviously are in love with Chase."

She looked at me like I had bugs crawling out of my eyes, "What?!" She exclaimed, loudly. Rain got a few shushes from nearby.

"There is no way that I like Chase!" She whisper/shouted. I rolled my eyes, "Come on, Raindrop. Everyone knows you are in love with him."

Rain frowned, "I am so not in love with him. I guess everyone is wrong."

I sighed, "Whatever. Class starts in five minutes, so we better go. I'll see you in Creative Writing. Chase will be there, too!"

Rain rolled her eyes, "You can be annoying sometimes, Nicole," Rain joked. I laughed, "I know. Well, let's go."
*


It was now around eleven in the morning, and it was time for Creative Writing. I walked in, and saw Chase sitting near the back. I sat in the seat beside him.

"Hey Chase," I greeted him, as I set my bag on the floor, and sat in the seat beside him.

"Hey, baby," He said, then kissed my cheek. I froze in place. What was that? He isn't serious, right?

"What?" I asked him, finally unfreezing.

"Is something wrong?" He asked. I looked into his eyes, to see if he was joking. Chase looked completely serious.

"Why did you kiss me?"

"Because we obviously love each other," Chase replied casually, while pulling out a notebook.

"I have a boyfriend, Chase!" I exclaimed. Chase looked up at me, again, "So? Dump him, then we can date."

"I love Niall!" I protested. I could see a few people glancing at me, because of my loud voice, but I didn't care.

"Calm down, Nicole. Let's just settle this later."

I was about to say something, when the teacher began talking. What is wrong with Chase? Is he really going to keep this on me? I was drunk and not thinking correctly. Why is he thinking we are in love?

I couldn't concentrate on the lesson at all. All I could think about was Chase's insanity. Well, I couldn't even concentrate on that. Chase was staring at me the entire class. Even when I would turn to look at him, he would keep staring. Most normal people would turn away, not wanting anyone to know they were staring. Even if Chase was in love with me, why would he act so weirdly about this?
*


The rest of the morning classes quickly passed by, and it was now time for lunch. This is going to suck. I will have to see him now, I can't keep trying to ignore him. I hope that Rain didn't see Chase kiss me in our Creative Writing class. Thankfully, she was sitting somewhere else. I know that Rain has a crush on Chase, even if she won't admit it. If she finds out, it will break her heart. I'll just not sit beside Chase at lunch. That will work... I hope.

I walked into the cafeteria, and grabbed a tray and filled it up with food. I found my way over to our lunch table. Ashton was the only one at the table, so I sat beside him. Ashton created small talk between us, as we ate. Within about two minutes, another member of our group joined us. Unfortunately, it was the one person I didn't want to see. Chase took a seat right beside me at the lunch table.

"Hey Nicole," He greeted me before, kissing me on the cheek. I mentally groaned. Ashton looked at me, with wide eyes. I avoided Ashton's gaze, and angrily stared at Chase.

"What is you problem, Chase?" I angrily asked him. He looked at me innocently, "What's wrong?" He asked. I groaned, "Chase, you obviously know what's wrong!"

"No one just kisses someone, then act like it's nothing," Chase replied, his voice serious, "It was obviously more than that."

As we were talking, Marie, Rain, and Clara sat at the table. They were talking amongst themselves, not really listening to our conversation, so Chase continued.

"I need you to know something," He said, his voice softer, "I love you."

Then, Chase crashed his lips against mine. Right as his lips touched mine, I shoved him off of me, but it was too late.

I heard some push their chair back, angrily, and stomp off. I noticed that Rain was now missing from the table.

"I'll go talk to her," Marie said, quickly, then rushed off before I could say anything. Well, this is just great. Chase just caused my best friend to be extremely angry with me. And, I wouldn't blame her.

I turned and was about to say something to Chase, when I heard footsteps behind me.

"Oh, so the little drunk actually decided to come to school today," I turned around to see two girls standing above me. One of them had bleach blond hair and had on lots of makeup. The other had the same makeup situation, but had red hair.

"Leave her alone," I heard Chase say from behind me.

"Shut up, Aris," The red head spat. Her attention turned back to me, "Did Niall dump your slutty ass?"

I ignored her, and turned around, bad idea. I felt their hands clawing at my hair, using it to yank my head, and the rest of my body around, so I could see them.

"Don't you dare turn around when I'm talking, bitch," The blond growled at me, "Every girl here wants to date a celebrity, but for some reason, he chose you. Why would he choose such an anorexic slut? If I were him, I wouldn't go choosing hideous slutty girls who go to parties and get drunk. Especially ones that cheat!"

"I-I d-" I began, but was immediately interrupted.

"Save it, bitch," The red head, snapped, "We don't want whores at our school. So, stay the hell away from here."

I felt tears welling up in my eyes, but I would never let them see me crying. I saw the blond girl smirk, "Oh, you gonna cry? Why don't I help you wash away those tears?"

She grabbed the open bottle of coke from Chase's tray, and then poured it all over my head. I heard the whole cafeteria grow silent, as the drink poured all over my head. I felt the cold liquid hit my head, and could instantly smell it. I gasped as it kept pouring. I felt my clothes being covered in the pop. It finally stopped, and I was drenched.

"I think your little boyfriend will end this whole fake act of loving you soon," She whispered. That's when I felt the tears starting to spill over. I quickly pulled myself out of my seat, and ran out of the cafeteria. I heard Chase calling after me, but I didn't stop. I could hear whispers from the other students, as I ran out. I didn't stop, I ran all the way out of the school, and down the road.

I pushed open the school doors, just wanting to get away from everything. I ran across the parking lot, my feet pounding against the concrete. My feet took me away from the school, carrying me as fast as they could. I didn't know where to go. I know that I can't go home. I didn't want to face them like this.

I found my way down the street, and decided to run towards an old gas station. I ran towards the back, and noticed there was a single-person restroom. This will be good. I ran in, and locked the door behind me.

That's when it all happened. I had finally broke. I leaned against the wall, and slid down, so I was sitting on the floor of the dirty bathroom. I pulled my knees up to my chest, and started to sob. I let out everything. I felt the wet fabric of my jeans and sweater clinging to my skin. My hair stuck to my scalp, and the smell of coke filled my nose.

My hands covered my face as the tears continued to fall. I can't take all this anymore. Why is it that everything I do is wrong? I try so hard to fit in, but I only end up acting like an idiot in the end. I just want to stop all this hatred towards myself.

Suddenly, I felt a familiar feeling in my stomach. That familiar urge. I haven't had that in a long time. In a couple months now. The urge to cut.

It overwhelmed me, forcing me to give into my wants. I had to find some sort of blade that could cut into my skin. I had forgot my bag at school, so I'll just have to use what's on me. I searched my pockets. I pulled out a eraser, a pencil, and... A pencil sharpener. This will work. I quickly broke the plastic off of the blade, working my way over to the small blade.

I pulled out the blade, and examined it for a second. This will work. I rolled up the fabric of my sweater, so I could see my stomach. It was covered in its usual mess of bruises and scars. The scars were mostly faded, but I could see them, I will always see them.

I felt tears pouring down, as I remember all the times Niall told me to never do this. I don't want to disobey him... but, I have to. I hope that he will understand.

I pressed the small blade against my skin, and quickly slid it across my bare skin. I felt the usual pain, and then the relief. With relief, came tears. I felt the tears pouring over. I had to create another cut, to help ease the pain inside of me. I felt the blade slide across my skin, and the blood resurfaced, along with the recurrences of this day. I felt the pain and relief once again. I then repeated the cycle, allowing me the prize of another cut.

I watched the blood slowly trickle down my stomach, and hit the top of my jeans, ending the line. I should wipe it off, but I felt mesmerized by the interesting red liquid. I then found the blade creating another cut. I felt like I almost missed this... This sudden relief inside me. I felt like I was finally starting to feel better.

Then, I saw Niall. I imagined him looking at me sad. I can't do this! I need to stop it! I let the small blade fall out of my hand and onto the floor. I collapsed onto the ground, sobbing, once the blade left my skin.

-------------

Sad chapter.... And very interesting. I named the chapter Breathe Me, because of the song by Sia. I listened to it on Pandora, and instantly started tearing. It reminded me so much of this chapter, and, well, the other sad chapters. Tell, me what you think! I love hearing what you have to say! Comment, follow, and fave! Bye lovelies! -Madison