Viridescent Flares

48

That night, I thought of Dinah's words. I tried my best not to be negative and let Lauren's image of pushing me away get to me. I was lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling as half of my body was dangling on the edge.

I knew I was craving for something but I couldn't quite put a name on it. I've been fumbling with my own hands, trying to figure what was missing. I've been turning my body around the whole bed. Groaning in frustration, I made my way to my nightstand and found myself opening the drawer. Ah. There you are.

I reached for the Davidoff and my black metal lighter with Joker's face on it. These items are long untouched and I stopped using these because Dinah taunted me to tell my parents about my bad habits. But I don't care anymore. Even if Dad knew, he wouldn't be able to do anything whilst he's in London. I opened the pack, a faint smile sweeping across my face as the familiar smell infiltrated my nose. I stood up and made my way to my balcony, holding it between my lips before lighting it. As the smoke left my mouth, I felt the rush of relief for the first time today. Even though the conversation I had with Dinah made me feel better, the cigarette definitely made me believe that everything was going to be alright.

➳

I proved myself wrong the next day.

I went down to try and eat breakfast with the girls after taking a shower in plans of meeting Kinsley today but when I saw the way the green eyes froze when she saw me, I didn't know how to react. I was pretty sure my chest ached when she stood up though, wanting to escape seeing me as soon as possible.

"No, no, no," I said, biting my lip to contain them from trembling. "Continue eating. I-I'll be going somewhere anyway. You, uh, you don't have to leave. I'll just eat outside."

There was an awkward silence and even the girls had their eyes on me. Lauren barely nodded with a straight face and I left without another word—I don't really have anything to say. I groaned to myself as I gripped tightly on my key, hating the fact that Lauren had to avoid me like the plague. But then, it was my fault so I shouldn't be complaining. I hate this feeling. I hate the venom in Lauren's eyes when she looked at me when those are the only orbs that makes me feel safe, calm and loved. But now, all I can think of is possibly getting stabbed by the same girl.

That's the exact reason why I am driving to Merry Bites Diner. I have to clean up the mess I made. Although the certainty of not giving in as soon as I see Kinsley's face was thin as ice.

L A U R E N

"Did she tell you where's she going?" Ally asked worriedly as she glanced at Dinah. Well, the Polynesian's the only one who talked to y/n last night.

Normani was taking my side and she was the shoulder I cried on the moment I knew what y/n was doing behind my back. Ally wasn't on anyone's favor because she knew it wouldn't really do any good for the band if we split up into groups even with the small mass we had. She was just being the good and wise mom that she was to us. Camila was mad for what y/n had done to Kinsley but she wasn't exactly with me. She wasn't talking to me as she was with y/n. Apparently, Camila has a thing for Kinsley because she wouldn't be as mad and as protective she was being. Dinah—well—I suppose she went with y/n. They've been best friends since forever and I've seen it with my own eyes how strong their friendship is. They would always have each other's backs no matter what the problem is about—and even if Dinah got annoyed with y/n's attitude before.