Kryptid

Chapter 8 : dreams and memories

Alex pov:

I always fucked up. Always. It was a pattern with me. I thought that cutting would make the screaming in my head stop. It didn't. The second I did it I regretted it. I was disgusted at myself. Then Isabelle walked In. Her face was that of horror. She got me to talk and I let everything out. Might as well go out truthful. But she didn't resent me for any of it.

She even said she liked me. I was shocked. She wasn't mad at me for what I had done. She accepted it. And now we were dating. It was funny, out of all of what happened tonight that was the one thing that shocked me most. I was still sitting on my bed, Isabelle had left. I felt giddy almost but not quite. I still had some doubts. I still didn't think I deserved her. Especially after what I had just done tonight. It was odd but I was enormously tired. Then again it was almost midnight. I moved the stuff off my bed and got my iPod out of its plastic container and shut off the light. I climbed into my bed and switched the iPod on. I still had to set it up with would be easy. It took me only 10 minutes to get it set up and hooked up to the Internet. Tommorow I'd put some music on it. I switched it off and put it on my bedside desk and closed my eyes and went to sleep.

This time when the nightmare woke me up it was enough to make me puke. I barely got into the bathroom in time before I did. When I stumbled back out the clock said 9:32 . I liked that my room had no windows so that the sunlight wouldn't wake me up. I just remembered Isabelle was supposed to come over when I started getting a bad feeling at the pit of my stomach. Not this not now I thought to myself as I started feeling a panic attack coming on. Suddenly it hit me like a freight train and I fell to the ground.

I couldn't breath and like all other times I couldn't think straight. It felt like I was dying. Of course that's when there was a knock on my door. I tried to say something but I couldn't. I tried to move and failed at this too. Then the door opened and Isabelle rushed in. "Alex?!" She shouted and hurriedly knelt next to me. I was still trying to breath. "What's wrong?" She asked. I couldn't move. Couldn't talk. She pulled my head from between my knees and held my face between her hands as she stared at me with her worried blue eyes. "Alex look at me. Don't think about anything but me" she said her voice oddly steady. I was still choking, trying to breathe. "Just look at me. Only me" she said. I tried concentrating on her. Slowly it became easier to breathe. Then I was aware of my surroundings. I was on the floor scrunched up almost into a ball. Izzy was kneeling in front of me staring at me with her worried expression. "Alex?" She asked. I nodded slowly. I was so shaky. So scared. "S-sorry" was all I was able to choke out. She violently shook her head "there's nothing to be sorry about. Nothing" she replied back. "Let down your shield" she said urgently. I tried but I couldn't concentrate. I shook my head. "Can't c concent trate" I gasped out. "Shh it's ok" she told me. "Just try to breath" she said in a gentle voice. I tried. After a very long time I had my breathing under control but I was still very scared. Isabelle hadn't moved. She still leaned in front of me looking at me with her beautiful blue eyes. "Are you ok?" She whispered. I nodded. Then I shook my head. I could move but I was still scared. But the fact that Isabelle was even here was helping. I felt calmer around her.

"Can you get up?" Isabelle asked. I nodded and slowly rose to my feet. She got up with me and took me by the arm and led me to the bed. I sat down and she sat next to me. "Are you going to be ok?" She asked looking at me quizzically. I wanted to say I'd be fine. That she didn't have to worry. But all I could do was nod. "Do you want to lay down?" She asked. I didn't think so at first but I realized I was dog tired. But I didn't want to sleep I was already terrified. In my sleep it would become so much worse. "I'll stay here with you" she said. This made me feel slightly better. The only time I'd never had a nightmare was when she was around. I grabbed my Xbox controller and shakily turned on Netflix. I always had to fall asleep to something. I started the show and set the controller on the bedside table. I started laying back when izzy started doing the same. I could already feel myself drifting off and the last thing I remember before falling asleep was izzy bright eyes looking at me and the theme song of Star Trek beginning to play.