never be hard to find

23

| Trigger Warning: The following chapter contains adult content such as alcohol abuse, drug use, suicidal thoughts, and sexual content. Reader Discretion is Advised.|


Amber p.o.v

I sat in the empty hotel room, the only noise coming from the rain crashing against the window. I looked at the cigarette in my hand as I puffed out the smoke into the air. I never liked smoking, actually i didn't even know what pushed me to even light one and inhale the smoke. I guess I just got used to it when he used to press it against my skin until I cried for help. It was symbolic now, how the pain made me feel. He was no longer here, no more torment but the trauma was there, the nightmares were there, and I guess some could say that was worse.

There was a light knock on the door, I placed my cigarette on the ashtray and walked over to the door. "Room service, i came to clean your room" a muffled voice spoke from behind the door. I pulled the room door open "sorry-" i began "i can come another time" the woman spoke, a warm smile on her face. "No" i objected "no i was just leaving" i assured. I rushed over and grabbed my keys and my wallet, slipping out as she pushed in her cleaning cart.

The sky was grey when i stepped out, the cold from the beacon hills mountains taking me in like if i was home, i quickly regretted not bringing a jacket. I drove and drove, going nowhere in particular, thoughts running through my mind, maybe i was the imposter here. It seemed as though everyone continued living their lives when I left, it seemed like everything was better except for allisons death. I had missed so much, so many aspects of my friends lives, I didn't know them at all anymore. Stiles was no longer a wimpy kid with sarcastic jokes, he was a man, a businessman, he had a house and a fiance, scott had his pack, he was a leader, lydia was a impactful person in this community, an influencer, and isaac, isaac was happy, married with a woman who was good, a woman who loved him. I couldn't compete with any of those things, what did I even bring to any of their lives?

I was just a high school friend who had moved out of town. That's it.

I had finally found a destination i liked, here is where i would come to contemplate my life and sometimes my death as well, my life had been at risk so many times that i was desensitized to actually losing it.

I stood by the beacon hills bridge, the river soared under it, as the rain fell on its waters, the bridge slippery, there were no other cars on the road and the sound of silence mixed with the sound of rain and an angry river, left a blissful symphony for my breaking heart. I found it selfish of me to try to make these people feel like they had to be available to me. I was completely nothing. My father had taken the first piece of me and then joe had taken it all after and any other pieces i had to fix myself, isaac had taken with him. The strong smell of the pine trees and the rain filled in my nostrils, i looked over the barrier at the river soaring through, the rocks causing waves within it.
I leaned forward and closed my eyes and before i could grip onto the barrier, i was falling over, my body hitting the cold water which sent adrenaline running through my body but there were no more battles left to fight, i just let the water overcome me.

Isaac p.o.v

I rolled over to the empty pillow as i panted, sweat glistened on her naked skin as she laid on my chest, her fingers trailing up to my curls. "I love you" she muttered quietly as if she expected me not to hear, i looked down at her as she looked up me with passion in her eyes, i could stay like this forever. It would be a lie to say that a part of me didn't love lisa. She was perfect, a perfect woman. Guilt had followed me for so long for leaving amber behind. Seeing her there at the diner and last night at the party had left me with so many thoughts. I loved her. How long could i carry on with these vicious games where i would have to restrain myself from doing what i truly wanted but here i was, playing a pretend game.

It was better off this way, though and although lisa didn't deserve it, i was trying to be the best man that i could be. "I love you too" i mumbled as i let a trail of kisses on her shoulder. "How about we make a deal" she looked up at, she grinned "how about we stay like this, no fights, no arguments just stay like this in absolute bliss" i chuckled and cupped her cheek into my hand "you are adorable" i pecked her soft lips and nodded "i agree, this is much better then fighting over the toaster" she bursted out laughing and i soon followed after. Her smile fell slightly "i know amber is back" i shifted where i laid. I had not prepared myself for this topic, i had not been ready to talk about this with lisa yet.

"Yes" i admitted "i would never do anything to hurt you lisa" i tried to reassure her, i knew the doubt in her mind was growing each day that amber remained in town. She sighed "i wish you had told me she was at the party, not have to hear it from someone else" she scolded me "it took me a lot of time to come to terms that she was back" i sighed "its not like i wanted to withhold information from you" she nodded and pecked my lips softly "i just want you to know that im here, i know the past can be haunting sometimes". I gave her a knowing nod and buried my face into her neck, where i remained the rest of the evening.