Thorns On My Rose: A Story of the Daughter of Robert Downey Jr. (EDITING)

Chapter 28 - Part 2 - "Yes, a Million Times."

Robert's Perspective

I frowned as I walked out of my mixed martial art lesson, my hood over my face and shades over my eyes, a pretty decent disguise. I shuffled through the pockets of my track pants for the keys to my car, finally digging them out. I had to admit that I was pretty surprised to see absolutely no paparazzi following me here and then none here to greet me after I'd escaped my rueful instructor, Matt, who single-handedly handed my ass to me today. And that had never happened before.

But I'd been pretty distracted lately, so it was understandable.

I hopped into the SUV, swearing when I remembered that I needed to run by my house for some more clothes.

I slumped in the seat, sighing. I really, really didn't want to go.

All the memories in that house. Alana and I laughing. Me comforting her after a nightmare. That day she found out about Susan and I. Hearing that she'd been in an accident.

I clenched my jaw.

I started the car, muscles already aching with the beginnings of soreness, and pulled out of the nearly empty parking lot, swinging onto the street and then onto the highway, towards the house I hadn't lived in for several weeks.

I still hadn't heard from her yet. She hadn't bothered to text, or call, or even visit, which I sorta knew she wasn't going to do if she didn't text first. And it was really beginning to take a toll. Yes, Gwyn was a nice distraction, and, yes, I'd screwed everything over, and yes, Alana had every right to be angry with me.

But it still hurt, as it should. I fully deserved every single non-text. I'd been a complete ass to my daughter. And while I'd rather have her here with me, I don't exactly want her stuck in my house, hating me in my presence.

The fact that we'd left so much unsaid, left each other on completely different sides of the same train tracks... To be as isolated as I was, to be as vulnerable as I was sucked. I knew exactly where she was, exactly who she was with, and, though I didn't want to think about it, I knew what she could possibly be doing with my co-worker, a grown man. Tom.

It was like she was behind an impenetrable, glass fortress, and though I could see her, hear her, I couldn't reach her. It was torture.

The image of her leaving, hand-in-hand with Tom, walking away from me, from our relationship, kept playing in my mind like a broken record. God, had I really messed things up that much?

Yes. Yes, Robert, you did. You've fucked up yet again. Congratulations.

As I drove down street that would lead me to my house, I clicked on the radio, and then upon hearing the music that was streaming through the speaker, I slammed my hand down to turn it off.

"Damn." I whispered.

It was Alana's favourite song: Gravity by Sara Bareilles.

Exton had been staying with Susan for awhile, since I, currently, was in no real state to be trusted with a toddler. While in a drunk stupor, I found Exton in our hot tub, swimming. And God knows how long he'd been doing that. Thankfully, nothing bad happened.

Susan taken him gracefully, only inquiring as to if I was alright or not. A stupid question, naturally, but I said "I'm fine" anyway. He'd been with her for awhile, and while, yes, I did miss him. I really wanted both my kids (at least the underage ones) in my house. But, life was way more complex than that.

And Gwyneth. My Gwyn had been so supportive, so understanding and I sometimes couldn't believe that she was all mine, that she wanted to be mine. She was... a very gracious human being, so kind and generous towards a screw-up like me. A guy that hardly warranted that kind of love. She was my rock right now, and I hope that one day, I will be as strong for her as she's been for me.