Thorns On My Rose: A Story of the Daughter of Robert Downey Jr. (EDITING)

Chapter 24 - Part 1 - Scream

Tom's Perspective

The whole ride back to my flat, I held her hand. While I drove, I would peek at her through the corner of my eye, swallowing hard when I saw the tears slide down her face. I would squeeze her fingers, or run my thumb over her knuckles, but she wouldn't even look my way, too swallowed up in her own world as she stared out the window. I wanted to talk with her, say something. I kept thinking I could somehow reassure her that none of this, none of it, was her fault. I wanted to cup her face in my hands and wipe away her tears forever, holding her as close to me as I could.

But I couldn't. And I wouldn't. Not now.

She was grieving, Rose. Grieving a life she'd wanted and thought she had. One that, really, I knew, could never exist. Not in this world. I myself had experienced first-hand that parents were not really the super heroes children thought they were.

They were people. Which in a way was better, I suppose, though their disappointments were still disappointing. Our parents reminded us that they were still human. That they still made mistakes like us--that our parents were still imperfect.

But as I looked at Lana, I knew I would never have the nerve to say that to her. I probably wouldn't have to. She's probably caught on by now.

I sighed, squeezing her hand and she actually looked at me, turning her head lazily toward me.

I looked from her eyes to the rode and then back. "Love." I whispered, trying to turn my wince into a smile. “How are you, darling girl?"

She gulped, closing her eyes. "Why do I feel like complete shit?" She said bitterly.

I frowned. "Oh, darling."

She sat up, letting go of my hand, turning her body to me. "Why, Tom? Why do I feel like I'm going to explode? Like I have a scream trapped deep in my gut, and it won't come out?"

I shook my head, shrugging. "Oh, love, if I knew the answer, I would tell you."

She looked out the clear glass of the the windshield, her eyes blurry with tears.

I made a split second decision, turning onto a dirt road and headed towards a nearby beach, a look of determination on my face.

Alana-Rose didn't even look away from her window.

I stopped short of a hill on the beach that Chris had shone me that tourists rarely stopped by. I parked and took my seatbelt off, not bothering to grab my sunglasses, and immediately reached over to take Alana' s seatbelt off.

She looked over at me, confused. "What are you doing?" She sniffles, wiping her eyes a bit.

I don't respond, but get out of my car and walk around to the front and then to Lana's side, opening her door.

"Tom." Her hair is up in a tangled ponytail and she has tear stained cheeks. But she still manages to look as beautiful as the first day I saw her. She pushes her bangs behind her ear.

"Lets go." I command, reaching for her. She lets me help her down, and clutches onto my arm, squinting at the sun.

We are silent as we walk up the hill, and I steady her when she trips on a rock.

"Careful, love." I tell her and smile at her. She just frowns, but watch her long enough to see her eyes brighten.

When we reach the top of the small hill, I am satisfied to hear Rose gasp in wonder. And I'm not surprised, the sight still takes my breath away.

Before us lies a sandy beach that gives away to the beautiful ocean. I see her recoil a bit, at seeing the blue mass, but whatever expression she just gave disappears as soon as it appears.

She looks at me, a question in her eyes. "What are you doing?"

I gestured at the view, spreading my arms wide. "Scream."

"What?" She asked, quietly.

I chuckled. "You said you felt like your scream was trapped."

She frowned. "I can't."

I put my arms down, walking towards her. "You can. That's why you feel that way. 'Cause you just let let it build up. Love, just let it go."

I turned her to face the view, backing up, watching her.

Alana looked around for a moment, and I was about to give up the effort before I heard the most terrifying yell I've ever heard. I looked over to see her eyes wide open as she screamed.

I watched in amazement when she stopped, her shoulders heaving. She was sobbing and I rushed over, covering the space between in a few strides as I pulled her to me.

I wrapped one of my arms around her shoulders, the other stroking her hair. She shook as her cries wracked her body as I cradled her.

"Shush, love. I'm here." I said into her hair. "I'm so proud of you."

She didn't say anything but her sobs soon slowed as she pulled away from me, groaning.

"I ruined your shirt." She complained, eyeing the wet spot in the middle of my chest.

I smiled. "It's alright. I hate this shirt." She rolled her eyes.

"Liar." I laughed at her hoarse voice.

I leaned down, planting a soft kiss to her cheek and her smiled sadly.

"I love you, Tom." I squeezed her tightly.

"I love you, too."