Thorns On My Rose: A Story of the Daughter of Robert Downey Jr. (EDITING)

Chapter 25 - Non-Flashbacks and Old "Friends"

Gwyneth's Perspective

I have never, ever seen someone this confused. And maybe it isn't even confusion, you know. Maybe... maybe it's more of a loss of something psychologically important. Like your tongue when it pokes at the space a tooth left after its fallen out. Maybe it's like that for him, but just some sort of emotionally jarring experience he has to go through to mentally assess all of what's happened. Maybe it was just a phase, and maybe it wasn't. Maybe it nothing at all.

But I was trying to make sense of everything, too, and Robert's current stage of grief was a somewhat welcomed distraction. I honestly had no clue what to do about any of this-- or if I should do anything at all. But he didn't even want to be comforted, always moving out of my way when I reached to touch him. So I just watched him, my eyes traveling back and forth, glued to Robert.

I watched warily as he wandered around the house, with his lengthy pacing and he was frowning so hard I started to believe his face was going to be stuck that way. Forever forlorn. I clasped my hands in my lap to keep me from grabbing him. I was trying to understand what was really going on. I hadn't been involved in any of this really and it was very clear that there was more to just the explosion I had just caught.

I admit that I was shocked by her decision. Yes, Robert had been a total douche, and that apparently wasn't uncommon when it came to their relationship, but what had happened to where that was even a viable option? How long has they been so... broken?

I mean, that meant something. Alana hadn't known Tom for long at all, but she hadn't known Robert forever either. But Tom? Tom, her brand new, fully-grown British boyfriend of a few months over a biological father that I thought everything had been fine with.

Apparently, I wasn't the only person the was surprised. I really don't think Robert had been prepared for her decision either. This would set him back a notch, and he'd have to reevaluate a few things.

I could still remember when his self-esteem and confidence had started dwindling, which, now that I'm thinking about it, was probably around the time Susan's affair started.

Or, at least, when Robert found out about it.

He started to become calloused, jaded and scarred like he did before the he quit the drugs. And most wouldn't have known the difference, chalk it up to his personality in general. But Robert wasn't really that sarcastic jerk that was full of himself. That was all just for show-- for an image that he purposely cultivated to keep fans and media on the outskirts of his life. People like Jamie, Jude and I, people who really knew Robert, we knew he was the biggest life-size teddy bear on the planet with just bits and pieces of the persona the rest of the world saw. We could tell the two men apart and we knew, we could all tell that something was wrong.

I think that even though they're through now, the blow on his marriage with Susan knocked a hole in his life. He had been using his love for her to piece himself back together, and when that all ended, it was like he was starting all over again.

And now this...

I looked up, stomping my foot and he turned, a surprised look on his face.

"Alright!! Enough! Damn it, Robert Downey!" I yelled. "You're going to ruin my carpet with the fucking paths you're wearing into it!!"

Robert smiled a little bit at my admonishment but quickly started to chew his lip, a sure sign that he was about to cry. I held my arms out to him immediately, hoping that, this time, he'd let me in. And, sure enough, he swallowed, walking over to the couch.

As soon as his head hit my chest, he let's forth a loud, heartbreaking sound that makes me squeeze my eyes shut to keep myself from crying. The loud sound slowly quiets, silent sobs making him shudder while I placed my hands on his head, cradling him against me. I felt him tighten his hold on me, like he was clutching onto something he thought would so easily slip away.