Kidnapped by Him (A Jacksepticeye Fan-fiction)

{Chapter 38 - Regret}

-=Mark's Point of View=-

"Get out of bed, Mark." An annoyed, female voice commanded me. The bright sun blinded my eyes while coming through the translucent glass windows that lined my bedroom walls. I really needed to buy some better curtains.

Never in my life have I wanted to stay in bed all day. My muscles would give out on me since I haven't eaten in a few days and barely drank any water. Nothing motivates me anymore. I've been uploading past videos I've made but was quickly running out. The puddle of "safety" videos was running dry. I just haven't had any confidence while recording. Fear washed over me when thinking about a fan noticing I was off. The whole fanbase would probably figure it out.

I didn't desire others to know that I feel like I'm dying. I don't know if it's regret or guilt or both. I regret I didn't love Addison like she deserved and I feel guilty that I freaked out on her. I just wanted her to be safe.

My response wasn't a logical and formed sentence, it was more like an inaudible groan. I kept my head under my white pillow, keeping the brown eyes in my head shielded from the piercing light. It also served as a reason to not see the mistake I made last night. Guilt fled over into my head, regretting every moment from last night. I didn't want to face it. I already knew my choice wasn't the right path to take. You don't think when you don't know what your life is anymore.

I hear my mother's words ringing in my head. She always told me life was about choices. Some we are very proud of and some we completely regret. When we regret it, we just have to make a better choice next time.

"Mark," her voice was bubbly and trying to be seductive, "come on babe, let's do something." A hand nudged my bare chest lightly. The skin that formed her fingertips felt hot and burned my skin. My body physically cringed.

"You need to leave, Signe. Last night was a mistake." I kept my voice hard and demanding. "I'm sorry." Again, I didn't want to face this poor girl I just used. Regret came into play again.

"What? But, Mark. Last night felt so right. You said you loved me and it was so genuine. I lost my virginity last night and you know it. At least look at me." Signe's voice became hoarse and rough. I already knew she was crying. I took my head up and looked into her eyes. They appeared so betrayed and confused. I really messed up, badly. She covered herself up since she was practically naked.

"I was imagining you were someone else." I sounded cold and acted like it wasn't a big deal. Was I being a douche? Yes. I felt like I needed her to exit my apartment before I use or hurt her more than I've already done. I just thought of Addy the entire night with her. They look nothing alike but that didn't matter to me.

"I can't believe you!" She couldn't say anything else since the sobbing took her voice from her. My heart was breaking for her. Signe doesn't deserve this. I sat there and watched her pick up her clothes and put them on. If looks could kill, she would go to jail for murdering me. Hot tears fell off her soft face.

"Go to hell, Mark." With that, the door was slammed and she was gone. I heard her crying until she left the apartment. Tiny whispers of curse words trailed off into the distance.

I dragged my crappy self out of bed and into the bathroom. I flicked the light switch on with my pointer finger when I entered. My feet dragged on the floor with a shuffle. The cold tiles tickled the bottom of my foot.

I looked into the recently cleaned mirror. I couldn't recognize the individual looking back at me. There was a stranger staring into my eyes and I didn't know who it was. Heavy bags lined the bottom of their tired-looking eyes. Their face also became more thin from the lack of proper nutrition and hydration. The sad look in the eyes they possessed brought everyone in the room down with them. They felt regret and felt like an asshole.

Who was this person?

This person looking back at me said, "It's you, douchebag." I let out a cracked scream and slammed my hands on the bathroom counter. Pain didn't phase me. I wiped everything off the counter and into the floor.

Crash.

Boom.

Cue the sound of  glass breaking.

"I'm such an idiot!" I sunk down into a ball, feeling as low as I have ever felt in my life. Why was feeling this way over a girl I barely know and just met? Damn, I'm scaring myself. Who knows, if someone was reading my thoughts they would be confused.

I got up, ignoring the mess I just made. I just need to be alone, I just need to feel at home. I walked into my bedroom and pulled open the dresser. I put on a shirt and walked out. My legs took me outside and down the street, not knowing where to go. I just have to go somewhere.

Realizing I had a car, I jogged back and grabbed my car key. Idiot. I climbed into my car and drove to the familiar airport. The green trees of California passed by as I drove. I turned on the air conditioner since the hot sun was beating down on me through the window.

I arrived at my destination and walked to the nearest airline desk. My hands formed fists since I wasn't in the mood to wait in a line. After a good twenty minutes, I finally got to the front.

"Hello, sir. How can I help you?" The middle aged man greeted me. He looked so happy and joyous. Something I was not. I sort of envied this stranger.

"What's the earliest flight to Ireland?" My lips formed a smirk.

•••
A/N:
Hey guys!

How is everyone? Hopefully doing well!

My exams are finished so uploads should be more consistent. I'm hoping I can do it since I'll have more time. I want to keep you all happy! :D that's my goal.

My goal for this story is to get it to 75 to 100 chapters. Somewhere around there. I'll think about making a sequel but that's awhile away! So don't worry, it won't be ending soon.

Thank you all for the attention this book receives. Holy cow! Its amazing. I'm just an amateur author who loves YouTube (especially Jack cause he's my favorite.)

Love you all! Have a great day / night.
-S