Living life .. A Zayn malik fan fiction

Let me take care of you

I awake refreshed but clammy from the spring heat upon us In LA . My eyes are still adjusting to the light of the new day as I scrummage around the bedside locker looking for the air con remote .

It's 7am and Zayn is still asleep but Elgstein is arriving shortly for the 3rd day of my treatment plan . Deep down I know today is going to be tough because yesterday she skimmed the surface and to be honest ..
It hit me hard .

I switch on the a/c to cool the room for Zayn before I jump up for a quick shower . All these early mornings with her are annoying especially since I just want to spend the morning in bed with Zayn but I know I have to do this .
I want to do this ...

Like clock work I take my contraception pill until I notice yesterday was my last pill before my cycle .

Oh shit just my luck !

"Skye ,Mrs Elgstein is here " Maria calls threw the other side of the door quietly and it startles me .

Already ? It's 6:50 am

"Ok Maria I will be down in a minute" I reply quietly .

I throw on my cotton shorts and tshirt before greeting her at the foot of the stairs .

"Skylar ready for this morning session" she asks politely but I'm only able to offer her half a smile .

We sit on the deck again this morning and Maria brings us coffee just like she did yesterday morning .

She starts And I settle back into the wicker sofa and already my heart is beginning to race .

I concentrate on my hot coffee instead but it's no good , my mind is like a circus , I guess I shouldn't be concentrating on anything else but this session .

"Skye have you ever gone back to the place you had the accident " she asks gently mid session .

"No I haven't , I never returned and I don't want to it has to many painful memories " I reply but it's a whisper .

"I think you need to return and make peace with it . Have you been to the grave how does it make you feel ?" She asks pushing me for more information.. More feelings .. More emotions .

"There was never a funeral so I let the hospital take care of that for me and bury it with the other still born babies up at Oakley because she was 5 months , I never saw my baby so I blocked it out after they took her " I reply with teary eyes as my voice starts to choke up .

"It was a her ?" She asks softly

I swallow the lump in my throat and I just nod back at her unable to speak .

"I think we should make peace and go visit , this is what you need Skye , I will be with you if you want me too . this is needed as part of your treatment skylar this is important and I know your strong enough. You need to come face to face with your past to move onto your future " she explains gently but I'm feeling like this is all too much ..
Too fast maybe ? but yes I agree with her .

Today's session was tough but I expected it to be .
She's opening a lot of deep hidden feelings , memories and thoughts I had but this is what I should of dealt with a year ago but I guess it's a road I have to take now .

I'm standing by the bathroom sink in my ensuite staring back at my reflection but at nothing in particular .
For the first time in a long time I feel uncomfortable with my own company.

"Good morning beautiful " Zayn smiles as he leans against the door frame of the bathroom . I offer him a small smile ..

"How was the appointment ?" He asks rubbing his eyes , He looks tired .