Living life .. A Zayn malik fan fiction

The past never dies ..

I'm standing by the pool having a stare down with Zayn .
Whats his problem ?
It's a tattoo , god knows he has enough so he can get fucked if he's thinking about talking me out of it .

"Zayn " I say again and my eyes burn into his from across the pool .
He nods and gets up to fallow me to the bedroom .

I turn to look at him once inside . He closes the door .
His hands are in pockets and his head is hanging staring at the floor .

"What did you mean earlier about the tattoo ?" I ask but I keep my voice calm . I don't want an argument I want an explanation .

"I said your not getting one " he simply replies and shifts from side to side .

"This my body and if I want one I can get one " I snap and turn to sit on the bed . He doesn't move .

"It's not the actually tattoo bit , I don't care if you get inked . It's now ! Your not ready your still in pain and do you want to add to that ?" he says and finally looks up .
"It's because of this " I point to my knee and my ribs .
He nods .

"You could of said that , and in a nicer way may I add " I snap back .
I'm really mad .
He totally humiliated me in front of Ruby . He made himself look like a possessed boyfriend .

All this because of my injuries ? I am so confused .
He could of said that in the first place , I wouldn't of been mad I probably would of understood his point but its the way he said it , it's really irritating me .

"You think I can't handle the pain of it ? For god sake I have been thru worst, whats a needle compared to this . You haven't seen me at my worst " I reply bitterly .

"That's the Fucken point . When it happens again you mightn't be so lucky next time " he shouts and gape at him .

"We are back to this conversation ? I thought you were gone past this , that we were gone past this . So none of this is about a stupid tattoo " I shout back but my voice low enough as so the others won't here .

"Look at you , if you could see what Im seeing , " he says and steps closer to me .
I hold my hand out to stop him .
"Aw Zayn please don't do this " I moan I am really frustrated now at him .

He bends down in front of me so we are at eye level with each other .

"Baby , I'm sorry . Get the tattoo but maybe wait until your healed " he says and runs his hand along my cheek .

"That's all you had to say in the first place , you didn't have to be callous with me " I sigh .
He pulls his face to mine and kisses me hard but pulls away after a second again .

"And the rest ? " I ask after a moment .

"I'm sorry , I know I'm overreacting but now I see the danger . Don't you see the danger " he replies shaking his head .

"I don't see the danger no , it's a few falls . I'm well protected and whats not protected granted I know but it's only a torn ligament and a couple of fractured ribs , il survive " I say sarcastically.

"And what about if it had turned out for the worst . You can't predict that , nobody can so why not just stop " he spits at me and angry Zayn is back again .
He's pissed off I can tell , his jaw is tense and his eyes burrow into mine .

"Its my life , it's my job " I snap back .
"It's not worth the pain , you don't have to keep doing this anymore I can look after you , stop putting yourself in danger every time you get on that damn bike" he says softly this time .

"You have seen me like this ONCE and all of a sudden you think it's a death trap , you knew what i did when you met me , hell i even thought you supported me so stop it now " I warn him .

"I'm asking you to stop please , next time you might not get a second chance " he replies flinching at his own choice of words .

"And thats a chance I have to take. Nobody is going to tell me what to do "
I spit back at him .

He stands up so he's looking down on me.
"And your baby , was that a chance you took . You didn't see the danger then " he says dryly but I hear pain in his voice .
My heart almost pounces out if my chest as I stare at him in dead pan .
My breathing increases and I feel so numb at his words .
He stands over me gauging my reaction . I take an inward deep breath before I lose it .
I stand up and position my crutches, grabbing my sundress from the end of the bed . I pop it on still silent . The tension between us is sharp and I can feel his eyes watching me closely .

I look him straight in the eyes as i walk past but they look almost black
And Motionless .

"Fuck you " I say and storm out of the bedroom as quick as I can manage .
He doesn't fallow and I'm glad .
I am beyond mad right now that I need to get out of here quickly to be alone .

Ruby calls me but when I don't answer on the third call she leaves me alone .

I am in the lift and I don't know where to go , I can't leave the resort without calling James and getting a car .
I'm not going back up there to get him so il hide out somewhere here .
My phone key card and wallet are upstairs ! Shit !

I sit at the bar ordering a mid strength beer putting it on the room tab .
I'm only having one to take the edge off because I know he knows this is the kind of situation he expecting to find me in .
I'm stronger then that now.

The barman makes light conversation but I'm not in the mood ,
My mind is numb .

I walk outside , hobbling around the grounds until I am in a garden . It's by the golf course on the resort .

My arms are sore from the walking so I drop them and sit on the grass .
There are a couple of golfers on the field and for a split second it reminds me of the day at the country club .
Tears start to prickle in the backs of my eyes and before I know it I'm sobbing hard .

"Please don't cry " a voice says and I know it's him . I dry them quickly .

It didn't take him long to find me but I think I knew it wouldn't deep down .

I don't turn around I don't want to see him .
"Please go away " I say between sobs .
His hand reaches out and holds my shoulder .
"I'm so so ... "

"No " I scream and yank it off .
He says nothing more and there's a silence between us for a few minutes until I hear him walking away .
I don't turn around until I know he's gone , just to make sure that he is gone I suppose .

I can get the whole danger thing , I do but what I don't get is why he bought my dead baby into this .

I cry harder wrapping my arms around my knees ....