Living life .. A Zayn malik fan fiction

damaged

I walk away and out to the veranda .
But he doesn't fallow ..

I lean against the rail looking out at the beach Closing my eyes As i concentrate on the sound of the waves.

He's standing next to me when I reopen them .

"Zayn just go please .. Trust me " u whisper and He grabs me by the waist and turns me around to face him .

"Look at me " he whispers and grabs my face but I turn away .

"Why can't you look at me ?" he snaps.

"Because I'm ashamed Zayn .. If you knew what was going on in my Fucked up life then you wouldn't be standing here .. " I shout at him and it surprises him .

"Don't say that " he says softly and I turn to walk away but suddenly he swings me around and catches me in his arms ..
"Skylar I love you " he smiles like its an obvious thing And It throws me .

"No you don't " I whisper and it surprises me ..

"Say you don't you feel the same and I swear il walk out of here and I will leave you alone ... " He says with panic as his eyes search mine but they come up blank ...

He bows his head and nods .

"Ok " he replies and lets me go ..

He walks away slowly with his hands in his pockets and it kills me because I do love Zayn ..

I love him ..

"Zayn i love you .. Jesus I have loved you since the day Since the night we first slept together " I cry out and he turns around immediately.

His lips are on mine hard before I even realise it and I'm crying again .

"I love you so much " he breaths out with relief kissing away the tears on my face ..

"Let me help you please .. " he pleads with a mix of concern and panic all over his face .

I nod at him slowly .. This is it !

"Ok sit with me but first i need a drink .. its a hell of a story " I reply and he kisses me again softly before he grabs a bottle of whiskey from the bar while I sit down .

"I know you said you love me but that could all change .. " I sniffle and he hands me a drink .

"Just tell me " he replies and takes a drink as he braces himself .

" When I was 16 I started dating Ryan We were in love .. You know your first love so he was the first and only person besides you that I had slept with . Ryan was the boy everybody wanted but he wanted me and I loved that .. He was kinder back then and so sweet . He bought me to the top with him and I'm grateful for that ..

I started to feel sick a week after my 17th birthday and Ryan called the doctor .
One confidentially paper later and she tells us I'm 10 weeks pregnant .
I hadn't even realised that my peroid was late I was too busy to notice" I breathe out and i take another sip for Dutch courage ..

He flenches his eyes closed because he knows whats coming next .
I take another drink and Does he .

He rests his elbows on his knees as he stares into the glass .

" I was numb and sick and angry and anxious all at the same time . My head was spinning . It took me days before I could face management . It didn't sit well with them and they offered termination but I refused I couldn't do that . They called the doctor for advice and a full examination .
They hatched up a plan that I would do appearances and PR until I started showing then they would announce it and after the baby is born they would hire help and I would get back into riding . They were hoping they would get away with It until the birth but there not stupid .. I couldn't ride obliviously and I was just starting off and doing well . I taught they would drop me but they didn't . I was making them money and that's all they cared about .
That year I competed and came 3rd In the women's worlds title and ranked 22nd in the world so they knew I would be snapped up quickly if they let me go " I breath out with a shaky tone and i try to gauge his reaction but it remains impassive .