Living life .. A Zayn malik fan fiction

Distant head connecting heart

There is a child playing in the meadow I can see her but she can't see me . She's wearing a pink dress with matching bows in her hair .

Why can't she see me .

I sit with her but she still can't see me .

"Look at me " I say

"Look at me .... "

I awake in a sweat barely able to breath .

"Sky whats wrong ?" A voice shouts and suddenly a bright light hurts my eyes .

"Oh Zayn it's you " I weep .

He pulls me into him and holds me while I sob

"I had another night mare " .

"Another one , why didn't you tell me you were having nightmares ?" He asks but I don't answer . I weep softly into his chest closing my eyes.

I awake from the light that's creeping in thru my blinds. Zayn is fast asleep beside me and suddenly I'm bought back to the memory of my nightmare and Crying into Zayns chest late last night .

I lay and watch him for a while . This is my problem , my issues why bring him down with me . He doesn't need this in his life , he deserves better than me .

I can't settle with my thoughts so I get up so I can have a coffee and think about this more clearly .

My head is frazzled as I sit at the breakfast bar sipping my latte .

I know what will clear my head and that's a run . I grab my joggers and iPod and leave Zayn a note which I leave by the bedside locker . Best not worry him again today when he sees I'm not here when he awakes .

I stop mid way to catch my breath . My head is full of thoughts it's hard to concentrate on my breathing .

Can I do this without him ? Should I deal with this on my own ? Will he leave anyway and realise I'm not worth the hardship ? Do I leave him move on because I love him and want to see him happy ?

Ahhhhhh my Fucken head won't shut up and leave me in peace. I run faster and faster until I can't think anymore .

I sit in the sand by the front of my condo catching my breath again .

I try and concentrate on the waves trying to guess which one would be a great one for surfers . Stupid really but it's eases the tension in my brain for a bit .

I turn to get up . Zayn is sat on the step of the deck . I wonder how long he's been watching me .

"Hey " he says as I move closer to him.

"Hey , I need to get ready for Elgstein " I reply and brush past him quickly .

He grabs my arm and whisks me around to face him .

"Are you ok ?" He says his eyes narrowing in on mine .

I nod and smile at him , that's all I can manage to do before I walk away fresh tears beginning to surface .

Elgstein is walking into the kitchen as I come inside . Just on time .

"Skylar sweet heart " she calls and hugs me .

"You ready for this morning ?" She asks and I smile at her but she's not convinced .

2 hours later I emerge for the lounge room with her .

"You have progressed so well but there's still a long journey " she hugs me briefly again before leaving .

"How was it ?" Zayn asks when I re enter the kitchen . He's sitting on the counter eating watching me intently .