PERFECTION

Chapter 17

AN//: This chapter will continue where 16 left off. Once again if cutting bothers you skip that part in the chapter. For the rest of y'all, ENJOY!
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Chapter 17

There's no point in being somewhere where nobody wants you around.

That sentece kept playing in my head as I slowly began to press harder on my wrist.

Do it. Just do it. They won't care that you're gone.

I cried harder and harder as I pressed the blade down on my wrist with millions of thoughts running through my head. In all honesty, I was scared. Scared that this wouldn't work and I'd have to face them again, scared for my parents and how they would react. All I really wanted was for someone to storm in, take the blade from me, and hug me so tight. They would tell me McKenna was wrong, Kian wasn't cheating and Kia and Jc don't hate me, they would tell me that I'm loved and important to people, that I am needed in this world, and that I am wanted. Unfortunately, no one would do that and I knew it.

Finally, I pressed the blade down hard enough to break skin and slid it over an inch, but then stopped. I felt something inside me, something like butterflies. I glanced down at my stomach and watched as Ariana kicked making my stomach jump a little.

I am needed. I am wanted. By my daughter, she loves me and needs me. Without me here she won't be here. I cried even harder ashamed that I almost killed myself because of something McKenna said. Something that I don't even know if it is true or not. I almost my life and my baby's life. Anything I do to myslef I am also doing to her.

You're a bad mother!

I told myself over and over. My daughter saved me. She protected me when I should've been protecting her.

I dropped the razor blade in the sink and took a step back. In the process of retreating from the blood stained blade, I slipped on something behind me and fell, hitting my head against the bath tub in the process.

Everything went black.

* * *

"Hailey? Hailey please answer me."

I woke up to the sound of Kia's voice. I slowly opened my eyes with a terrible pain in my head, and my wrist hurt too.

When I finally opened my eyes, I looked around the room and realized I wasn't home. It looked like I was in the hospital. My observation turned out to be true, as I figured out when Kian and Jc entered the room with a doctor following them.

"Hello Hailey, my name is Dr. Robertson. How you feeling?"

My throat was dry, and it was kind of hard to speak because of how tired I was. My voice came out quiet and a little raspy, I almost didn't recognize it as my own.

"O-okay, I guess. In some pain."

"How bad? Rate from 1-10. 1 being a little, and 10 being the worst you've ever felt."

It hurt to think, but it was higher than 1 and way less then 10.

"Um...4?"

Dr. Robertson nodded and wrote something down on his clipboard.

"Tell me Hailey, do you remember anything that happened?"

Remember? I could tell you ever last detail up until after I dropped the blade. There was no way in hell I'd tell him that. Instead I shurgged a little, and turned my attention to my hands.

"Would you mind telling me?"

I glanced up at him and then over to a worried group of eyes. That group was Kian, Jc, and Kia. Dr. Robertson must've noticed my sideways glance at them because he asked them to please leave the room, that he needed to run some tests.

I watched as they all left the room. Kia hesitated, giving a scared look, as if she were scared for my life. I looked away, the guilt was killing me.

Dr. Robertson closed the door behind Kia, and the pulled a chair up next to my bed. He looked at me, his face showed no emotions.

"Okay, now. Could you please tell me what happened? This strictly between you and me." he motioned his fingers between us. I felt my hands begin to shake and my eyes fill with tears, and then I spilled.

I told him everything that happened. Everything from McKenna's visit, the walk I took, my return to home, and the bathroom incident which is what brought me here. He wrote things down on his clipboard, and informed me that I had hit my head, and that is why I was here right now.

"So what we're going to do, since you are pregnant, we're going to have to have you stay the night. Make sure everything is ok. If everything works out fine, you'll be free to go tomorrow."

I nodded and thanked him. He smiled and then left. Nobody came in the room right away after he left, my guess was he was informing everyone that I'd be staying the night. When they all did come back in Kia was the first to speak.

"What the hell happened Hailey? We all came home from trying to find you and we find you on the floor passed out, and your wrist pleading."

She was kind of pissed off I could tell. I would be too if I was in her shoes. I'm surprised they all weren't mad, but then again neither Jc nor Kian spoke.

"I know, I'm sorry." I still didn't look up at her. I was playing with the end of the blanket that was covering me.

Everyone was silent. It was begining to drive me insane. At this point I didn't even care if they were yelling at me, I just needed someone to talk. As if he read my mind Kian looked up at me and asked,

"why?"

"Why what?" he looked hurt. Broken even.

"Why did you try? I saw the blade."

My heart stopped and I didn't know what to say. This is exactly what I didn't want to happen. I didn't want to have to face this. I don't know what to do, do I make up a lie and say how depressed I've been, or do I tell them all the truth and admit that I started believing someone over them.

I looked around at everyone's faces. They all wore the same expression, they were scared, worried, and hurt.

Tell the truth. They'll understand. They love you.

I sighed and let out a shakey breath. Then, for the second time today I spilled, and told them everything.

When I finished I looked around at their faces, nobody had a readable expression except for Kia. She was pissed.

Before I could even say another word to her Kia got out of the chair she was sitting in and looked me right in the eye.

"I'm gonna kill her." she said and then left the room causing Jc to run after her to stop her before she does something stupid. They left me and Kian alone in the room. He looked more hurt than ever.

"You believed I was cheating on you?"

He had a tear running down his cheek, and I felt my heart break right in my chest. This is all her fault. Why did I believe her?

"Kian no i-"

"Just forget it."

He got up and walked out.
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AN//: Guys, what the hell am I writing!? I'm making myself tear up writing this! Haha. Oh well, as long as y'all like it, that's all that matters. Thanks for reading!! Next chapter will be up maybe today if not then tomorrow!