Stutter

My Biggest Fear

I loved the visit from Levi. I was so freaking elated. Over the moon! Definitely the best present ever and the fact that it came from Ashton, made it all the better.

Later that night before Ashton left for home, I stepped out on the front porch with him.

"I can't even explain how happy you've made me by pulling this off," I told him.

Ashton smiled widely.

"Well," He said. "I'm g-glad that I could d-do that."

"I don't know how I could ever top that," I said, looking down at my feet. "I haven't made it to the mall to get you a graduation present."

Ashton shook his head.

"I don't want you to worry about it," He said. "Seeing you this happy has been the best present I could receive."

I pressed my lips against his but quickly pulled back. Ashton gave me a questioning look. I motioned to the window off to the side of the door. Levi was standing behind it, looking at us through the blinds.

"Your brother kind of s-scares me," He whispered.

I laughed.

"I don't blame you," I said, shaking my head a little. "He's just being a protective big brother."

I looked down to my feet.

"I'm just sad that he has to leave tomorrow," I said.

"I know, babe," Ash said, sounding empathetic. "At least you get to see him, though."

"You're right," I said, smiling. "I'm glad I get a visit, even if it is short."

"I'll text you later," He said, kissing my cheek.

I watched him walk down the path and down the driveway, walking to short distance to his house. I sighed gently and went back in.

"Nosy much?" I smiled at Levi.

He bumped his shoulder into mine and laughed.

"Yep," He confirmed proudly.

I shook my head at him.

"You don't need to worry, Levi," I said. "He's good to me."

"He better be," He said, looking tough. "I'll beat his ass if he hurts you."

I laughed and Levi shook his head, looking serious for a moment.

"In all honesty," He said, putting his hand on my shoulder. "He seems great. He went through a lot just to get me here and if he's willing to go through all of that, then it's serious. He really does like you."

I smiled and looked at my feet.

"I love you, sis," Levi wrapped his arms around me and for the first time since he's left, I felt relieved.

He was home which meant he was safe. Even if it was for one night, he was safe and I could sleep sound tonight knowing that.

By the time we went to bed, I passed out the moment that my head hit the pillow. It was a very eventful day with graduation and Levi surprising me. Today was amazing and I wouldn't change one moment of it.

All through the next day, I refused to leave Levi's side. I wanted to spend every moment I could with him until he had to leave. By the time he had to leave, I was a wreck.

I started crying on our way to the airport and Levi tried to comfort me but it didn't work. He was leaving us again and I was going to go nights without hearing from him, days without knowing if he was still alive and safe. 

I hated not knowing if he was okay. Levi was everything to me. My best friend. The person I told everything to. So, when we had to stop at the gate for his flight, I all but broke down. He hugged me tightly and cried a little bit himself. He hated seeing me this way but I couldn't hold it back.

"I love you, Addy," Levi whispered in my ear. "I love you so, so, so damn much."

Once I let go, he turned around and walked through the gate and went to board his plane. I couldn't get myself to stop crying. Man, I was a mess. 

On our way over here, I had texted Ash to get him to meet me at the airport so that I could be with him. I told my parents and went to the front door to find him pulling up. I got into the passenger seat once he stopped and told him to drive.

"Are you okay?" Ash asked, glancing over at me while driving.

I shrugged.

I had managed the stop myself from crying once I got into the car. I think I cried all that I could. My throat was dry and sore, my eyes were burning, cheeks felt puffy. 

"I'll be fine," I half-lied.

Ash drove around, not going anywhere in particular but knowing that I didn't want to go home. I ran Levi's words over and over again in my head.

"I love you, Addy. I love you so, so, so damn much."

Who would have known that would be the last thing I ever heard from him again...