Stutter

I'm Doing This

"You're doing what?!" My mother yelled at me.

"You heard me," I said. "I've made my mind up."

I could see the tears in her eyes and it made me feel bad knowing that I was causing it. It was only two days after we found out about Levi's death and mom was still an emotional wreck. I was too if I thought about it too much.

"I'm doing this for Levi," I said, lowering my voice.

"Why would he want you to do this?" Dad asked me.

Ash stayed quiet on the couch but I could see this was hurting him as well. He kept his gaze on his hands in his lap, seemingly ignoring everything that we were saying.

"I can't explain it but it's just something that I need to do," I said.

"I've already lost one child," Mom said. "I don't want to lose a second."

I shook my head.

"I'm sorry but you can't stop me," I said.

Mom got up and left the room. Dad just gave me a hard and disappointing look before following her with Sadie in his arms.

"I don't want you to go?" Ash said quietly.

He was so quiet that I almost didn't hear him.

I sighed and sat next to him.

"I'm sorry, babe," I whispered.

I felt the tears burn my eyes and I wrapped my arms around him.

"It starts with boot camp so I'll only be gone for three and a half months," I said.

"Yeah," He said, looking up at me with red glossy eyes. "But after that, you'll be gone for a year at a time, sometimes longer."

"I know," I said, running my hand through his hair. "I'm sorry."

I got up and headed up to my room. I had signed up yesterday and would be leaving in a month. I had to make sure I had everything that I would need.

***

A month later and I was standing at the airport gate heading to my destination.

Mom was crying, dad was trying to act tough, Sadie didn't know what was happening, and Ash looked like a mess.

"Just remember that it's only boot camp," I told them all. "I'll be back in a few months."

"Doesn't make it any better," Dad told me.

"I know,"  I said. "I'm sorry. I just need to do this."

I hugged my mom, dad, and gave kisses to Sadie. She whined a bit when I stepped away from her but was fine a  moment later. I stopped in front of Ash and received a sad face from him.

"Just know that I love you," I whispered to him.

"I love you, too," He whispered back.

He pressed his lips against mine but pulled back, remembering my parents were right there. I took the dog tags I got in the mail from the boot came and put it over Ashton's neck.

"Just so you have something of mine," I told him. "They'll give me another one."

"I'll see you in a few months," He said when my plane was called for.

With a last look to everyone, I turned around and headed towards my plane. I handed the flight attendant my ticket and boarded the plane. I found my seat and sat down against the window. I stared out it, trying to ignore everything around me, trying not to cry.

Author here! Hey guys! The last couple chapters I just updated are short and quick so I'm sorry about that. I just want to get it done finally. One more chapter and that's it everyone! It'll be over and done with and everyone will move on. Love you all and thanks for staying for the read. Wouldn't be here without you all.