Don't Try the Noodles

Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Bailey

Who am I to be upset about this? I said it myself. Prior to today, Caleb and I have never spoken a word to one another. We were and still practically are strangers.

Just when I think I can live in reality for once, my fantasies get the better of me yet again. That smile meant nothing. People tend to smile when they meet someone for the first time. It's called being polite. He was trying to be friendly. Just because my heart had been beating so fast did not mean something special was actually happening. I need to stop adding meaning where there obviously wasn't any. I need to get over this immense weight on my chest. There is no reason to be sad. I have no right to be disappointed. If anything, this should be motivation for me to finally stop thinking about him.

He has a—

"...girlfriend," Emma says.

I snap out of it. "I'm sorry, Em. What did you say?"

"I said I can't believe Caleb actually has a girlfriend." Emma gets a long look at my face. "Are you okay? You look kind of pale."

"Huh?" I instinctively put my hands to my face. It's cold, so I try to get some warmth and color back to it. "I'm okay. I think it's just the AC."

Emma notices the air conditioner is blowing straight to my seat. "You want to switch with me?"

"No, I'm fine," I say with too much breath.

My hands and feet are feeling a bit numb. It will be dangerous to try to stand up right now. But I have to keep telling myself not to let any of that affect me.

Because it has nothing to do with me.

"Anyway," Emma says. "We're still eating your dad's ramen, right?"

"Actually, let me cook the ramen."

"You?" Emma says in disbelief.

I look at her offended, only to immediately break into soft laughter. The change in emotion is nice. I can get through this. I have my best friend with me.

I tell her, "Hey, I can make pretty decent ramen."

My dad runs out of the kitchen. "Bailey wants to make ramen?!"

I have no idea how he heard me from that far away. Dad instincts are scary.

Normally, I would brush him off out of sheer embarrassment. However, today I gather some courage to go along with his fatherly excitement. I will take any chance I can get not to think anymore. Besides, cooking is oddly therapeutic for me.

I push myself up to stand. "Yeah, dad. I'll make lunch today for a change."

He rushes over to me and grabs both my hands. This seems like déjà vu, minus the handsome Frenchman and subsequent nervousness. I'm more grossed out than anything else.

"You will make ramen for your favorite father too, yes?"

He's making puppy dog eyes at me. And like a puppy, he gets a few droplets of his spit on my face while talking. I pull myself back to avoid any more contamination. This is what I get for being around the same height as him.

"You're my only father," I reason.

"Oh! Such a sweet thing to say!" He pats my head.

I slowly move away from him. "Alright, I'll make some for you, too. Just stay out of the kitchen." In other words, stay away from me. Why are dads like this?

He makes an okay sign with both of his hands. Then, he takes my seat next to Emma.

"Emma! So, tell me about what you doing these days!"

My mom peeks her head out of the back room where she has been eating lunch. She yells in Korean, "Be quiet! This is not your college reunion!"

"I'm sorry, honey." He makes a huge heart with his arms. "I love you!"

He doesn't get a response to that.

I'm in the kitchen now, boiling two separate pots of water. Including Ethan, who also hasn't eaten lunch, I'm cooking for four people.

Speaking of Ethan, he's still in the kitchen with me. He is very focused on slicing those cucumbers. I think he has sliced more than we'll be needing today.

"Um, Ethan?" I carefully poke him on the shoulder.

He jolts. "Huh? What?"

"Are we having a cucumber party today?" I try to joke.

I get embarrassed when he doesn't laugh. He only sighs. "Oh, Bailey. What am I going to do?"

"What's the matter...?"

"That guy who came." Ethan's face looks even more in despair. "Is he Emma's ex-boyfriend?"

"What?" I blurt out. I shake my head. "No, Ethan. They're just school friends."

Unlike me, Emma can't keep her mouth zipped when it comes to personal secrets, including crushes. I would probably have known if she had ever dated Caleb. It sounds so absurd simply thinking about it.

But then, I'm thinking about it again. The reality.

I'm the one to sigh now. Still, I want to help Ethan out as much as I can. Also, it will help me accept it by saying the truth out loud. That's what I need to do. Accept and finally move on from this outdated crush.

"You don't have to worry about Caleb," I say. "He has a girlfriend."

My heart hurts a lot more than I expected.