Just Another Day

XIX

Unfortunately, Nick wasn't allowed to stand up just yet. When he tried, a pretty young mink nurse came in and forced him to lay back down. He reluctantly did so, with a small growl of frustration.
"How long have I been out? A couple of days?" He looks at me, head tilted slightly.
I shake mine. "Two weeks, today."
Flabbergasted he flops back unto his pillows with a brief wince. "Two weeks! Two whole weeks! I've never taken a nap that long. That's quiet an accomplishment." His tongue lolls as he gives me a toothy grin.

I can't help but smile back at him. "Yeah." We have things to talk about that might wipe the smile off his face, so I hesitate.

He frowns, sitting up again, leaning towards me. "What is it, Carrots? What's wrong?"

"Nick... we need to talk. About a lot of things."

~~•~~

Her words send a chill through me, and I keep my voice serious. "Alright. About what?" She retreats from the edge of my bed to a chair next to it.

Her voice, when it comes, is low. "Back at my apartment. You drugged me. I think I know the reason, but I'll ask anyway. Why?"

I rub the back of my neck. "I was... Scared. Scared of hurting you. Scared of what would happen to me if I did. So I did it. And I'd do it again... with a bigger dose to make sure that you STAYED asleep." I say all of this without looking directly at her. The revelation I'd made when I'd thought that she was in danger, it's making me uncomfortable. I don't want her to read the truth of my feelings in my face.

My answer seems to annoy her, her lips curving into a deeper frown. "That's it? That's all you have to say for yourself? For fifteen years of my life, I've been told that I was too small, too weak, a dumb bunny! That I'd never be taken seriously. YOU told me that. Then I proved myself. To you. To everyone. This past year has been the best of my life. I trusted you. And then, you practically told me I wasn't strong enough to handle it if you went savage. Nick, why? Tell me the real reason. And don't talk about guilt either. Why did you really drug me?"

Her beautiful eyes are narrowed, searching my face. I feel like she's reading my mind, reading the truth there. Her ears are pinned back, and her paws are rigid at her sides. There's no hiding what I feel for her. What's so terrible about her knowing? I don't expect her to feel the same. If I tell her, I may lose her. If I lie, I will definitely lose her.

"I try to keep my emotions under tight wraps." I sigh, leaning back once again. "That's how I survive. I don't get emotionally entangled. But then you came along. At first, I'll admit, I didn't care at all for you. Then you hustled me." I smile at the memory. "You earned a bit of my respect that day. Forty-eight hours later, you'd somehow become my best friend. But over the past couple months, things have felt... different. You don't see someone twelve hours a day, five days a week at least, without knowing more about them than anyone else. I started to worry more for you. Then these night howlers came, and I thought I'd have to protect you from myself. And I knew I couldn't hope to." I look directly into her eyes.
"And that scared me. When I saw you, about to get tagged, I KNEW then. I knew..." Her voice has softened.
"Knew what?"
Never have words been so hard to say. "I knew then, Judy Hopps, how hard I'd fallen for you."