So Long, Happ-inez-ss (Jacksepticeye Fanfiction)

Chapter 4 : Sean - Hey loneliness

I saw her walking out my door, suddenly feeling empty again. I really want her to stay, to talk to me as long as possible. I just need a friend to keep me sane, have some company makes me a little bit happier than usual. I sigh, it's my fault anyway. I lose my only one love, I lose my ups and downs, I lose my sun and moonlight. Kinda cliche, I know. But it's true, I miss her so bad, I really want to pick up my phone, talked to her, begging her to come back. But I can't. She hates me now, she really don't want to talk to me anymore. I thought she will be my wife, she will be the first person to look at to in the morning and the last at night fall, I thought she was the love of my life, the girl that supposed to be my whole book. But no, it's just in my mind, she's just another chapter in my life.

I don't know if I can fall in love again, my love for her was too much. Now I realized, what's too much can hurt me so much. I sigh again, I really should just edit my video than thinking about Sally again and again.

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After a while editing one of my video for tomorrow, I feel tired. I usually don't feel tired, I don't even sleep. I hate sleep, it's wasting my times. Imagine how many videos I could make by the time I sleep. I look at the clock on my PC, 9 PM. I really need something or someone to distract my mind from drinking again. One name popped up from my head, Inez. I picked up my phone, text hey really quickly "Hey, I really need you now" I send it to her, hope she will be replying as soon as possible. She always on her phone 24/7, isn't she? I can't deny it though, she's kind of person that I need right now, not a place to move onto but just a place to be safe and keep myself away from my own damn craziness. I waited for an hour, two hour, until I tired of waiting. One drink won't hurt anyone, I thought to myself.

I pour another beer to my glass, I lost count of shoots I've took. I started to feel a very bad headache "Isn't it silly, I bought an upside down apartment?" I chuckle a bit. And then I turn into a horrible person--typical Jack when he's drunk--that I believe no one wants to saw it. I throw my glass to the sink or should I said to the wall because of my blurry vision I can't see clearly, couldn't more careless if it will broke and smack my face with a little tiny pieces that probably would fly back to me. 

I walk to my bedroom, struggling, of course. I almost fall, I hold onto something, I don't know what but I hear something fall and breaks. I still couldn't be more careless. I continue to walk to my bedroom, I saw one and only picture that still sit beautifully on the nightstand, next to my bed. It's me and her, it's us. I pick up the picture, feel a thousand different feelings in my heart. I missed her, I loved her, but I hate her for leaving me, but I still want her back. I felt confused with my own feeling. I can't even control my heart anymore. Suddenly I feel anger rush through my vein, throwing the picture to the wall, don't care if I broke the one and only thing that can make me remember her, remember our memories, remember happy and fun times that we had.

I run my finger through my hair, my head hurts so bad. "AARRGGGHH!" I groan in pain. I hate myself, Why can't I make her stay? Why can't I make her mine forever? It's my fault. I hate myself, I felt like a horrible person to make her—a good and perfect girl—walked out from my life. I regret everything that I have done in my life. I wish I left her when she said hello to me, I wish I didn't have to love her so much and make sure myself that she was my other half.

I tried to search my phone, I really need to talk to Sally. I really need to told her I loved her so much, I still love her, I really want her back. It's now or never, and no going back, I'm going to tell her tonight. After put so much effort on scrolling, I found her number and click the green button to call her.

"Hello?" She said from the other side. "Hey, I—" I really near to broke down "I—" I can't say it "Sean? You okay?" I hear her voice, she sounds a little bit different, but it's probably just my ear. "I-I r-really want t-to talk to y-you" I said, "Talk, Sean. I'm here" She said, her voice is like a beautiful song to my ear. "I need you" I said. "Sean, please don't cry" She said from there. I heard somethings moving, like the sound of she grabbing a cloth, probably. I really won't cry if she was here, I really won't cry if she was still with me now. "Sean?" She said "Yes?" – "Do you want me to come over?" She asked so nicely. "Yes, please" I said. She hung up, I really want her to come, hold me and told me if it's okay, everything's gonna be okay, we don't have anything to worried about.