I really miss Sean. I keep distract myself with making more videos for my channel. Anything that came to my mind became a video. From All Time Low's cover song to everyday makeup routine even something stupid like reading fanfiction about me (sometimes being ship with Sean). I make fan art more and post it on Twitter, this time I really hope Alex would notice me and love me (like really, please love me, Alexander Gaskarth). But no, All Time Low never noticed me, so do Brendon Urie.
Christmas almost here, I make myself busy with vlogmas that I promised a long time ago to my viewers, a full week vlog about how Sam and I prepare our Christmas.
"Hey, you busy?" Sam said from the doorway
"No, why?" I said, get up from my desk and take a break from editing video for tomorrow
"No reason, I just miss you" She said
"Well, we live in the same place and you see me everyday. How could you miss me that much?" I asked, very concern.
"I don't know. I just miss sit with you, watch the fucking busy roads and count the cars like a stupid person. I just miss to get drunk with you and keep talking even we don't know what the hell we talking about. I think there will be always tomorrow, but now we're running out of time. You have 7 months left, and I really can't help but think about how lonely I could be without you" She said, a little too fast but I still can hear it clearly
"Yeah, you right. I've got 7 months left, and I'm still being this selfish bitch. I'm sorry." I said, get closer to her to give her a hug
"I understand, I'm sorry. I'm just afraid being lonely again"
She hate being lonely, she doesn't want to be alone, so I moved in with her to keep her away from craziness she had inside her head.
"I know, I'm sorry." I said, pull away from the hug and give her a brightest smile that I could make.
"Let's just drink tea and talk about life" She said
"Ew, no. I want coffee instead" I said with disgust face that she laught at
We make our way to kitchen and make our drink then sit in the living room, turn on the TV to make the atmosphere a little alive
"How are you?" She said and put her tea on the table
"Oh really? Out of thousands questions you can ask me, you choose that stupid question?" I said, laugh because that question
"No, seriously. What do you feel now?"
"Like, what kind of emotions? Well, I'm a little relief."
"Why?"
"Because I accept the fact that I should going home in 7 months"
She took a sip from her cup, then nod a little
"And then?" She asked again, like she's searching information from me
"You know, you can just ask me anyting" I said, look at her deadly in her eyes. She had dark brown eyes that similar to mine, but mine is a little brighter.
"About Sean, you know?" She said, and I patiently wait for the next words from her mouth
"Yes?" I asked when she didn't said anything in 3 seconds
"You want to talk about your heart condition?" She asked carefully, I laugh a little too hard until my side hurts a little
"What?" She asked me again
"No, it's just funny how you carefully shapes your words." I wipe away a single tear from my face "It's fine, you know. I start to accept the face that he's with someone else. But you know, it still hurts a little. I haven't hear his voice in 2 months? I guess. I haven't see his ocean eyes, or his green hair that look so good on him. I thought if I stop look at him, I could forget him. But no, it makes me really miss him more and more day by day. I can't just text him and say miss him like nothing even happened, right? He's with someone else, and I can't be the third person between them, I just don't want to" I look down to my half empty cup of coffee, our conversation getting serious and I hate it.
"Yea, heartbreak sucks" She said
"Well, I thought you have advice for me" I said, laugh a ittle and took a sip to my coffee
"I'm not Josie, you know." She said, shook her head. She must me missed her so much.
"You right, she was good at love advice." I nod my head to my statement.
"Anyway, you know Patricia will finish her collage next year and she always wanted to moved out from her house to a place that far far away?" I change the subject, to avoind a conversation about Josie or Sean. Those name make my heart hurt more than a little.
She nod her head, her eyes now glued to the cartoon on TV
"What if you ask her to live here with you? You know, my room will be empty, she can use it" I said, maybe Ireland a little too from Indonesia, I'm not sure if Patricia would agree to it. But we never know if we never try, right?
"Yeah, that's a good idea. By the way I bought something for you" She run a little to her room to grab god knows what.
"I would give it as a Chrismas present to you, but I can't take the responsibility to keep it without accidentally throw it to the trash bin" She said and chuckle. That's true, she almost lost her ID card while she try to tidy her room and thought it was a useless card. Wtf.
I took the envelope from her hand and open it carefully. Then I saw All Time Low's ticket concert inside of it. I look at her, then to the ticket, then to her face again.
"Are you fucking kidding me?" I shout loud enough to make her cover both of her ears with her hands.
"Nope, I guess you're too busy to notice they're coming to our town in January. Then, I was too late to grab the front ticket for you so I'm so sorry." She said
"No! It's totally fine! Oh God why. I'm not even prepare double present for you, I'm such a terrible person"
She laugh because of my words and my tears that I didn't notice.
"Hardcore fangirl" She said and sit on the couch again
I join her, we talk about anything from our school back then to what are we gonna do to stay alive. We talk until we don't know what to say anymore.
"I look forward to Christmas" I said
"Me too, it will be our second and last Christmas" She said, and suddenly I remember again about going back home.
"No it won't be our last, I fucking pinky promise you" I said, smile to her.
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It's 2 AM and I couldn't sleep, there are so many things on my mind. But the main reason why I can't sleep is Sean. I really really miss him so bad. I picked up my phone and search Sean in my contact. I reply to his very last text.
Inez : "Thanks, green looks good on you"
YOU ARE READING
So Long, Happ-inez-ss (Jacksepticeye Fanfiction)
Fanfiction"Hey, let's continue our conversation in my apartment" Sean said to Inez "Okay then" She said "I have to go right now" She said about an hour later, leaving Sean hanging, confused, and alone.
