Book I - As Cold as Ice (Travis X Reader) - {COMPLETED}

Chapter 18

Your P.O.V

I have a weird problem.

I thought to myself as I realized that I had fallen asleep in a weird place, again.

I turned around, but frowned when I didn't see the familiar green color.

I didn't see anything. Just the gray color of the stone walls and the crumbling floor.

"(Y/N)!" I heard someone yell. I looked around and saw Eliot holding Aphmau's hand through the lookout.

I ran for the two and got there after almost tumbling down the stairs.

"(Y/N)!" Aphmau said with a cherry voice. "Eliot has something he wants to tell you." She said and looked at Eliot. His eyes were trained on the floor and he looked a little sad.

"What's up?" I asked. He looked up at me. "I want to go back..." He mumbled. I stood there confused for a second before he started talking again.

"I want to go back to Phoenix Drop."

I was taken aback by this. "W-Why?" I asked.

"Because Zoey promised me that she'd teach me how to use my ring. And she's also gonna teach me how to make potions and stuff too!" He said with excitement. "B-But I can't go..." I said.

"I know... and I'm really sad about that. But Zoey's gonna take care of me! And I can play with Donna's family too!" He said with his eyes sparkling in happiness.

I felt myself breaking.

"Oh! That's great! You should do it! It should be fun!" I said with a reassuring smile.

"But how long are you going to stay there?" I asked. He shrugged. "I think a long time." He replied.

"Well that's okay! Go! Have fun!" I said with a happy tone. He smiled and waved goodbye as he and Aphmau left me at the gate.

Why do they always leave...

I know it's for the best, if I had spent more time with Eliot we might've gotten too close. Just like with Travis.

I felt tears in my vision, and quickly wiped them away.

It hurts doesn't it? I heard a voice say. I turned in all directions. Nothing looked out of the ordinary.

When people leave, it crushes you... The voice continued to say. "What?" I whispered.

But that's how it always is, right? No one wants to be close to a worthless piece of trash. The voice kept saying.

Just look at you. All ugly and beat up. Only a blind man would ever have any sort of feeling for you. It wouldn't stop.

You'll always be alone, nothing more.

"S-Stop it..." I whispered.

No one will ever love you.

"Please..." I cried.

You'll always be a worthless...

"No..." I held my hand over my mouth.

Little...

"Just stop it." I said.

Monster.

"Leave me alone!" I yelled as I clutched the sides of my head and started sobbing.

I fell to my knees. I felt so weak, and I just didn't have the will to get up.

I didn't care about the voice. I don't care about what people think. I just don't. But I know that it was right. I am a monster. Everything I've done over the past few months were hopeless attempts to try and understand happiness. Something I barely ever feel.