Youre Not Alone, Haven't We Been Over This?

Ch.9 Game Night: Want you? Or protect you?

I got up from the couch at the same time Karkat did, and all the while everyone watched with great anticipation. Roxy stood before a guest room she had in the house and held the door open with a smile.

"I thought it was supposed to be a closet?"

Roxy shrugged,"The closets are filled with stuff and i didn't want anyone tripping over things. Sooooo get in!" She pulls us in and shuts the door locking it from outside.

"We got the timer set!" Dirk shouts.

"Good job dirky!" Roxy shouts. "Have fuuuuunnnn!"

As her foot steps quickly vanish from listening distance, I sat against the wall.

"Well...this is awkward,"

"Only to you fuckass,"

"You wound me karkles," I chuckled. He sneers and turns away.

"We have seven minutes...therefore you have seven minutes to answer my question I asked before all this dumbshit. I expect you to answer,"

I tensed up again. I stood up and folded my arms. "And if I don't answer?"

"I'll beat it out of you,"

"Is that a challenge Karkat? Because I don't consider it...a threat," I said with a smirk.

"It's a fucking threat douchebag!" He lunges and tried to tackle me down. I grab his shoulders and hold him steady while keeping my own balance. He uses all his strength and pushes me back against the wall. I grinned and kicked my foot out turning it so it was placed sideways at his ankle and pulled it forward making him fall back. His grip never loosened on me, making my move back fire as I fell over him. I held myself up, my hands beside his head and his hands loosening around my shoulders. I stared down at him through my shades. I noticed the few scars he had from the struggles with Gamzee, and it made me sick to look at them. If i hadn't left, he wouldn't have ended up like this or with that juggalo. I didnt realize it at first until Karkat pulled me back to reality with his voice.

"Dave....why the fuck are you crying....?"

I lifted my hand to my cheek and felt the small bit of liquid that was streaming down my face. I brushed them away with my sleeve and took a breath in. But then next thing I know, my shirt is tugged forward and our lips were locked together. My eyes widened at first, but then they slowly closed. I kissed back, with the utmost uncertainty of this being right or wrong. It felt so right. But at the same time it felt painfully wrong. His hands moved to my face, and as I pulled away his thumbs stroked the tears I had out of existence.

"Be honest...with me you douche. I want answers...I want to know what has been going on with not only me, but you and everyone else!" He shouted. He held my face in his hands. "Why....is it....you....?! Why the fuck do I feel this way because of you?! I hate you..?! But..I....."

"Stop talking Karkles," this time I kissed him. And he kissed back. I missed this so much. Being this close. Being like this. His hands roamed through my hair, as his fingers curled to clutch every strand he could. On hand of my own lightly petting near the base of his horn making him purr lightly. His purring. I missed that the most. He was just an over grown cat. I lightly squeeze the base of his horn which he gasps in response to; and I slipped my tongue inside. And of course a full on make-out battle came to rise. I pulled back letting a small bit of saliva follow between our lips. His face was flushed red and his eyes were filled with a lustful gaze.

"Karkat.....I..." I stared at him. I couldn't bring out the words I wanted to say. His hands reached for my shades. I closed my eyes as he removed them, and as soon as they were put aside I opened my eyes. His eyes widened as he stared. This would be the first time I suppose he would see them. Technically speaking.

"They're...."

"Red...." I said.

"Beautiful..." he says stroking beneath them.

"Karkles....you said you wanted to know the truth....about everything...but...." I felt my brows sink down, and a frown form. "I....heh.....god....dammit...Karkat...I want you.....I fucking love you...and yet...I can't be with you..."

"Dave..."

"I want to protect you.....but reminding you of everything....god i don't want you living in fear anymore....or carry that burden again...any burden that should have been all on me...I don't want that shit for you anymore...Karkat I'm sorry..." I felt tears flowing. His face went from worry to rage.

"Why the fuck do you have to hold it all in on your own?! It's not just me you are hiding from! It's everyone else too! You're pushing others aside while you take the fucking blow!" He shoves me off and grabs my collar. "Why is it so hard to just depend on us !?"

The timer goes off.

"Times up!!!!" I hear Roxy's scream as her foot steps get closer to the door.

"I'm sorry Karkat..." I moved his hand and grabbed my shades and just as I placed them on while Roxy bursts through, i turn and his fist flies across my cheek.

"YOU FUCKING BASTARD!" he storms out the room and starts screaming for Kankri to call their dad to take them home. I stood up straight and turned to Roxy. She had her hand to her mouth, and a worried look in her eyes. I smiled and slowly walked out. I walked through the hall just as everyone started question what the hell happened to my cheek and why Karkat was pissed off. I ignored their calls, and walked out the door keeping my smile. I got into my car and drove home in silence.

I walked through the door, and locked the door. Planted my ass on my bed in my room. Took my shades off. And allowed the smile to fall completely as tears flowed from my eyes.

I wanted him. But I couldn't have him. All I need is to protect him.