It was the same nightmare I had at the inn, only this time I dodn't black out. I got to see him being shot, and watch his dead body fall to the ground. It was the worst feeling in the world. Phil was there, off in the corner. Watching. No expression on his face, no movements, just watching.
I like awake for hours, too scared to sleep again. At about 7:OO, I get out of bed and crutch to the kitchen. I sit down at the table and grab a muffin. Good old comfort food.
I watch TV until I hear Dan walk in.
"You're up," he comments.
"I haven't slept since, yeah."
"You have school tomorrow."
"Mm."
"You okay?"
"I guess. I'm going for a shower."
"Can I have one after you?"
"Yeah," I said heading into the bathroom.
Holding the blade in my hands, I think about Jackson's wrists yesterday. I wince at the sharp pain, and watch the scarlet line become wider. I focus on it, and watch it change shape and drip with the water. I repeat the actions several more times, focusing more and more on the pain. Focusing on the blade, and the blood. The pain and the practice. Distracting me from all my problems.
I rinse the blood from my forearm and shower walls. I hide the blade so Dan won't see. If he found out, I couldn't handle the disappointment. I couldn't handle being disappointed in by the one who has helped me through so much. He doesn't know this helps me, that it distracts me. He wouldn't understand.
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You Saved Me, I'll Miss You. (A Dan Howell Fanfiction)
FanfictionChloe Hamilton wasn't very happy. After her parents' death, all she had was her older sister Ashley and her younger brother Jackson. She used to have a boyfriend, James Carter, but after 2 years together, she saw a sign of him she didn't think possi...
