Down in the Forest || Joshler [Completed]

3- Passive-Aggressive

I glanced around the mess hall worriedly. I had never really been in this situation before. I was so used to going to a familiar table with my friends and having a guaranteed spot for lunch. I sighed before walking to an empty table. I picked at my food as I thought.

My mind was being filled with one person and it was starting to bug me. I'd only, technically, known Josh for one day and he was all I could think of. Heck, I didn't even really know him. In fact, I knew nothing about him. Yet, his brown eyes still cluttered my mind.

I was snapped out of my thoughts when someone sat down across from me. I looked up from my sandwich and smiled at Patrick.

"Do you mind if we sit here?" he asked. I noticed that there were three other guys behind him. I shrugged and they sat down. I glanced around at the guys and recalled their names. Pete, Brendon, and Dallon. "How'd you sleep last night?"

"Surprisingly well," I said. I picked up my sandwich and set it back down.

"That's good. Where's Josh?" I looked around the cafeteria and was surprised when I didn't see Josh anywhere.

"I have no clue."

"What's up with him?"

"I don't know."

"It's probably because he's gay," Brendon said out of nowhere. My eyes widened to the point that I thought they might fall out of my head. Patrick shoved Brendon's shoulder and rolled his eyes and Dallon laughed slightly. Pete didn't seem to be paying attention to anything but his food.

"He's gay?" I asked.

"Yea." I felt myself fill with a bit of hope. I mentally crossed "might be straight" off of my list of reasons to not like Josh.

"He wouldn't be acting weird just because he's gay,"  Patrick said, annoyed. "How do you even know that he's gay? This is his second year working here. I don't remember the two of you being chummy last year." A look that seemed to be a mix of guilt and worry appeared on Brendon's face. It quickly vanished as he shrugged and took another bite of his food.

"He told me," he said, swallowing.

"Whatever." Patrick shook his head and sent his attention back to his food. He looked up at me and frowned. "Why aren't you eating?"

"Um, I'm not really hungry," I lied. "I think I'm just gonna go back to my cabin for a bit. I'll see you at archery training though." I stood up and threw away my food before walking back to cabin D. When I didn't see Josh inside I wasn't sure if I should be worried or relieved. I decided on the latter and pulled my notebook out from under my mattress.

I started journaling when my parents forced me to go to therapy. They started the therapy after they found out about some personal issues that I have. I feel lucky that my therapist doesn't make me show the journal to my parents. I mostly jot down song lyrics and poetry. Every once and a while I draw.

I decided that this needed to be one of those times and grabbed my pencil. I began to draw lines and curves. Slowly, they took the shape of trees along a lake, the moon hanging above the water delicately. I pressed my pencil against the rough paper as lightly as I could and shaded along the tree trunks.

"You're pretty good." I jumped in surprise and pressed my pencil hard against my notebook, the end snapping. I shut my notebook quickly and turned to face Josh. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

"It's, um, it's okay," I said, shakily, as I tried to regain my composure.

"You're talented, Tyler," Josh said, walking over to his bag.

"I'm not that good," I said, my nails beginning to dig into my thighs. "It's just kind of for fun."

"Yes, you are that good. You don't have to sell yourself short."

"You don't know me, Josh." My eyebrows knitted together in frustration. He turned back to me and held up his arms defensively.

"I was just saying." Josh rolled his eyes and started towards the door. I had had enough of his passive-aggressive attitude towards me. I set down my journal and got off of my bunk.

"Why do you hate me?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest. He turned around to face me.

"What makes you think that I hate you?" He took a few steps towards me and I tensed up.

"You've been ignoring me and giving me dirty looks all of today and all of yesterday."

"I don't hate you," he sighed.

"Then why do you do it?"

"Tyler, you're a different breed. You're 'THE Tyler Joseph' and I'm just Josh. The only memories I have of you are watching you date cheerleaders, throw parties I'm not invited to, and pick on my friends. You're a popular dick and I'm a nobody. It's not gonna change so why would I try?" With that, Josh walked out of the cabin, leaving me speechless.

Josh thought that I was a dick. I would think that I was a dick if I were him, too. I do do dickish things at school sometimes, but none of them are because I want to. They're out of fear. I knew that if I was going to survive this summer, I would have to convince Josh of that.

I let out a frustrated sigh and ran a hand through my messy hair before leaving the cabin.