Down in the Forest || Joshler [Completed]

21- For Josh

A/N
AYEE TWENTY ONE
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"Are they all asleep?" I asked Josh. He nodded and let out a sigh. "Can we go to that place again? Where we went the other night?"

"Sure," Josh replied, smiling. He took a hoodie out of his packed bag and slipped it on. I grabbed my ukulele and notebook and he picked up a blanket. He held the door open for me before closing it and leading me down the same way as before. We walked side-by-side silently through the trees. I took in all of my surroundings and tried to memorize every step. We came to the fork in the path and walked to the left.

I could see color through the thick trees and smiled. Soon, the cabin and all of the surrounding flowers came into view. Josh laid out the blanket and we sat down, him across from me. He smiled at me expectantly as I set down my ukulele and opened my notebook.

"Is this the last time I'm gonna hear you sing?" he asked, his smile fading. I didn't answer him. I didn't want to answer. I didn't have an answer. Not yet.

"I've been writing this all summer," I said, ignoring the question. "I hope you like it." Josh's smile returned. I picked up my uke and started playing.

I do not know why I would go
In front of you and hide my soul
'Cause you're the only one who knows it,
Yeah, you're the only one who knows it

I hoped that the meaning of these words came through to Josh like I wanted.

And I will hide behind my pride
Don't know why I think I can lie
'Cause there's a screen on my chest
Yeah, there's a screen on my chest

I had rewritten the chorus 5 times before giving up and resigning to what I was now singing to Josh. It would have to be enough.

I'm standing in front of you
I'm standing in front of you
I'm trying to be so cool
Everything together trying to be so cool

I tried to shake away my nerves before the "rap" began. I didn't want to scare Josh away, but I needed him to know what was inside my mind.

I can't see past my own nose, I'm seeing everything in slo-mo
Look out below crashing down to the ground just like a vertical locomotive
That's a train. Am I painting the picture that's in my brain?
A train from the sky, locomotive, my motives are insane

I watched Josh flinch slightly as I screamed the last word. I quieted my voice as I continued.

My flow's not great, OK, I conversate with people
Who know if I flow on a song I'll get no radio play
While you're doing fine, there's some people and I
Who have a really tough time getting through this life
So excuse us while we sing to the sky.

I saw Josh smile and tried not to break.

I'm standing in front of you
I'm standing in front of you
I'm trying to be so cool
Everything together trying to be so cool

I closed my eyes and hummed softly. I let the emotion of the words course throughout my veins.

We're broken
We're broken
We're broken people, oh.
We're broken people

I could feel myself rocking side to side along with the beat as I repeated that line.

I'm standing in front of you
I'm standing in front of you
I'm trying to be so cool
Everything together trying to be so cool

I opened my eyes and looked up at Josh. I held my ukulele tightly against my heart as I waited for him to say something. Anything.

"Wow," he breathed. I looked down at the rugged page my notebook was opened to. My handwriting was messy and words slurred together. I began to wonder how I was able to read it. I saw Josh's hand appear on the notebook and he lifted it away. I followed it to see him looking down at the page. I stared at his face to see a blush on his cheeks. "You wrote this for me?" he asked. I suddenly remembered what I had written on the bottom of the page.

☆For Josh☆

I blushed furiously and looked away. I set down my uke and rubbed my sweating hands on my legs. I didn't realize how nervous I was going to be.

"Thank you so much, Tyler. I loved it," Josh said. My head snapped up and a smile spread across my reddened face.

"Really?" I asked. Josh laughed.

"Of course!" He looked away but I stayed looking at him. His flushed cheeks matched his plump lips and fading dyed hair. His smile was small yet bright.

"Josh," I started. He looked up at me and I tried to work up some courage. His shimmering eyes distracted me and I sat there with my mouth open for a moment. When I realized what I was doing, I clenched my jaw shut before clearing my voice. "I, um, wrote you that song because the only way th-that I can really express how I, uh, feel is through music. I'm not sure if everything came out exactly how, um, how I wanted, but I hope you could understand it. I know that you really listen to my words." I coughed lightly and wiped at my eye. I was getting choked up.

"Tyler," Josh started. I cut him off by placing a hand on his arm.

"I really like you, Josh." As the words left my mouth, it felt as if a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. I watched Josh's face intently, looking for any sign of what he would respond with. His lips curled into a wide smile that made his eyes crinkle at the corners. He placed a hand onto the one I had on his arm.

"I really like you, too," he said, laughing. I smiled and looked down at our hands. I watched as he lifted his to tilt my head up. I felt my heart race as he pulled my face closer to his.

Our lips touched and I felt everything. There was a warm sensation that spread throughout my entire body and settled happily in my stomach. It felt like there were pop-rocks in my blood and fireworks in my chest.

As he pulled away, I kept my eyes closed. I was afraid that I would open my eyes and wake up in my bedroom alone. Josh rubbed my jaw with the pad of his thumb and I let my eyelids flutter open. That smile remained, tying my insides in knots. I giggled and he pulled me so that I was sitting between his legs. I wrapped my arms around his torso as he placed a kiss to my temple.

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A/N
I spent all day trying to get this chapter right.
I hope you guys enjoyed this part! It's been a long time coming!
Only a few more chapters left and that makes me sad.
I'm going to write another Joshler fic though !