Down in the Forest || Joshler [Completed]

11- So Close

***Trigger Warning****
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"Ty?" I blinked my eyes open. "Tyler? Are you awake?"

"Um, yea," I said, sleepily. "What's wrong, Josh?" I heard sniffles and knew that he didn't have to say anything. I pulled myself out of bed and stood so I was facing him. He sat, rocking slightly, with tears down his beautiful face. It broke my heart to see him cry.

"Can you come up here?" His voice was rough and full of fear. I nodded my head and climbed up, settling in next to him. I let my arm rest around his shoulders and he leaned into me. I stroked his back as he let out his cries. He placed one of his hands on top of my free one. I looked down at him, nervously, before taking his hand. His rough hand felt nice in mine. "Thank you," he whispered.

"Mhm," I hummed, laying my head against his. His soft, red hair tickled my face. We sat there for what felt like an eternity, me holding onto him. It felt good. I traced my thumb along the back of his hand in intricate and useless patterns.

In the dark silence, my mind wandered. My mind likes to go to bad places when it's dark and quiet. It filled with images of Ryan and Josh's scars and my scars and my mother's face when she found me in my bathroom, crying and bloody.

I realized what was happening and tried to hold myself together. It was not the time for this. I was being supportive for Josh right then. I had to be strong. For him.

I normalized my breathing before Josh could notice and let my tears fall, silently. I didn't bother to wipe them away. I was too focused on how good it felt to hold Josh.

My list of reasons to not like Josh was wavering on non-existence at this point. I didn't care that he went to my school or that he was my co-counselor. I wanted him. I needed him.

He sat up and I pulled away enough for me to see his face. His eyes were red and his cheeks were flushed. He tried to smile and I did the same.

"Thanks, Tyler. I'm sorry I'm so needy."

"It's alright. It feels good to be needed," I said, looking down at my hands that were now twisting together in my lap. I saw Josh's hand appear and grab mine in his. I looked back up at him. His beautiful, chocolate eyes were staring back at me, full of some unidentifiable emotion. My eyes flickered to his perfectly shaped lips and I bit my own, wishing to know how they would feel together. I brought my focus back to his eyes and I noticed that he was doing the same thing.

This is your only chance, Tyler I thought to myself.

I leaned a bit close and he did the same. In the slow motion of us inching closer and closer, my heart was racing. My hands shook slightly in his but I tried to keep my focus on what I wanted. His lips.

"Tyler? Josh?" The voice startled me and I jumped back from Josh quickly. I looked around to see Kyle crawling out of bed. He ran over to where we were and we both got off of Josh's bunk. He wrapped his arms tightly around Josh's waist. My blush of embarrassment started to fade as Josh bent down to Kyle's level.

"What's wrong?" Josh asked, placing a reassuring hand on Kyle's shoulder.

"I had a nightmare," he said, sniffling.

"It's okay. It was just a dream. Let's get you a drink of water and then back to bed, alright?" Kyle nodded and Josh led him out of the cabin. I collapsed onto my bed as the door shut. I buried my face into my pillow and groaned.

I was so close to kissing Josh. I was a second away from knowing how his lips feel and taste. It was just out of reach.

I ran a hand through my messy hair and flipped over to lay on my back. The door opened and I watched as Josh walked Kyle over to his bed. Seeing Josh tuck him in and hug him tight gave me a fluttery feeling in my stomach. He walked over to our bunk bed and stood in front of me for a moment.

"You're so good with kids," I said, smiling. He smiled back and looked away from me.

"Thanks." There was a silence that made me nervous. I thought back to what had happened before we were interrupted. "I'm gonna try to get some sleep."

"Okay. Me too," I said, trying not to sound disappointed. I didn't want to sleep. I wanted to kiss Josh. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight. And thank you, again."