The Breaking

I Hate You

I was strapped into my prison. I tried moving, but I was so tightly fastened it was no use. My head pounded like no tomorrow and I felt so empty inside. Like the day I left for Aduluma.

They said I was suffering from moderate to severe anxiety, depression, and schizophrenia. I was lost in my own head for over a month.

I was still calling for Greer, or for Anguish. But there was no reply. I didn't believe these doctors. These horrible people who took me away from my best friend and my pup.
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"Now I want you to tell me what Greer was like." The doctor had a smooth voice, but I refused to listen. "Ever please, try to help us. We're only here to help you." Spoken like a true lie.

"I want to go back." I whispered. My voice was harsh and raspy from not speaking for a few days.

"You know we can't do that. Nor can we let you." He began droning on and on and I just spaced out. I could almost hear him. Greer. Almost.

I wonder if they had don't anything to me. To suppress my communications with Greer. Or I really was crazy. I pushed that thought aside.
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"Your parents are here to see you Ever." The nurse said in a kind and gentle voice.

"I don't want to see them." I said blandly. The hate left a sour taste on my tongue.

"They're your parents Ever, you should-"

"No." I said flatly. I was staring up at the ceiling. I no longer needed restraints, but I still felt like I was strapped to the bed.

The nurse sighed and closed the door. Muttering something about how she'll come back with food and my medication.
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I had begun to stop eating. I would just cut it up into small pieces. But it never looked appetizing. My parents came a few more times, and every time I turned them down. I hated them. From my very core. It was such a dark and sinister hatred that I felt.

Yet, I still loved them. I felt bad for hating them so deeply. They took care of me, and despite some bad times, they were still good to me. Always letting me eat, making sure I bathed. They were my parents, but yet, they felt like strangers. I knew I was part of the problem, that I wasn't doing enough. I knew it was partly my fault they hated me too. Hell, I hated me.
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They had found that I wasn't eating. They began watching me eat and wouldn't let me sleep if I didn't. I would eating it, but after they left, I'd end up throwing it all up. Not intentionally. It just seemed my stomach wouldn't hold any of it down. My health was on a decline.
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They dragged me out to see them. Without my permission.

I had been here for almost two weeks now.

They tricked me into it. I walked into a room thinking it was going to be my counselors room, but it was the visitation room instead.

"Ever!" My mother ran over and wrapped me in a bear hug. She smelled like I remembered. Her perfume was always oddly comforting.

I didn't hug her back though.

"We went to check in on you, after the fight, and you were so spaced out-"

"I bet you began yelling about how I wasn't paying attention to you." I said without thought. She looked at me in surprise.

"I was a bit upset, yes. But after a while we began to see something was wrong with you. So we took you to a hospital, you weren't responsive at all." Her story dragged on and my head began to wander.

"Are you even paying attention?" She didn't sound mad, but I could tell she was. She was always quick to anger.

"No." I said blatantly.

"Ever." Dad said angrily.

"No, it's alright. I'm just glad you're all better. We can take you home and we'll get you back in school-" my heart race spiked rapidly. I began to shake my head.

"Please no. No. I don't want to." I was having a panic attack. It felt like I couldn't breath. I was taking in raspy breaths.

"Ever. Stop being so dramatic. Do you really not like it with us?" My dad said, clearly annoyed. I let my self calm dow a bit.

"I hate you." They were both taken back. "Don't get me wrong, I love you, and you're my parents. But I hate you. You've never understood me. Sure, I may not help as much around the house, I may not be the perfect little doll you call a daughter. But I was suffering. I was hurting so much. I couldn't even tell you because I was afraid of you. I hate that you made me a weak coward. I hate you for making me hate myself. So you can go home, and blame me for your problems. Because as far as I'm concerned, I'd be better off here." I heard them calling to me, but I simply walked away.
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In my room I found a familiar face. Greer. I laughed a little and ran to him. He was there with open arms.

I began to cry.

"I told you you were too damn detailed. Synced yourself out." I laughed. I missed him.

"Take me back. I don't want to be here anymore." My voice shook.

"Of course I will Ever. You're my best friend." I felt him kiss my head. He pulled me away from him and gave me a big smile.

"So it's true then. You're just in my head." It wasn't a question.

"Oh Ever, you've always known that. But that never stopped you. Come on. We have so many adventures that we have to get to." He held out his hand to me. He began floating up and up. I took his hand and let the light consume me.