Amnesia

Chapter Twenty Seven - 'you could've saved her'

I had blocked Nat and they had been contacting me on a new number each time. I growled under my breath with frustration. I mean, this was the person who had brutally murdered my best friend.

Adria interrupted my world of thoughts. "I forgot that you wouldn't know our birthday is Thursday!" She exclaimed with a squeal.

Suddenly reality hit me and I realised that I was at the counter and a bored looking member of staff at the shop was folding my dress, carelessly stuffing it into a bag. Adria didn't often get excited like this, she was usually too busy having her nose in a book, listening to Hollywood Undead or Twenty One Pilots. I smiled sadly at her, if only she understood the true look of pain on someone you care about's face.

I was certainly not looking forward to my birthday. Attention was the last thing I wanted right now, Adria was lucky I even left the house.
"Hmm," was my reply.

She turned to face me, "you're not excited?" Her smiling expression faded to a frown.
"Deepest apologies if that is deemed a sin," I handed her a fed up look.
"I know Maddy has died-" she bowed her head slightly in mourning.
"Been murdered." I corrected her.
"I know Maddy has been murdered," she repeated in the words I wanted her to, "but the Maddy I remember would want you to celebrate, enjoy yourself."

"It's not as simple as you think..." I murmured just so Adria couldn't hear.

We walked back out of the mall to return to the car. The sweltering heat of the Italian summer hit me. Ouch. I raced to the car to avoid melting.

I threw open the car door and leaped in, slamming the door behind me. Adria approached, placed the shopping on the back seats then began to drive.

"So you're not excited for your birthday and dreading Maddy's funeral?" Adria's vision remained on the road.
"Correct."
She shrugged, "you- We've been through a lot lately but that doesn't stop allowing you to have have fun."

"Once the funeral is over I will feel better," I assured her, "there's just something I need to do first."

Once we arrived home I didn't walk through the door, I didn't go up the stairs with the dress and hang it up inside my wardrobe. I certainly didn't give my mother and brother a hug, then thank my sister for a wonderful shopping trip.

I had in fact, thanked my sister for paying, left the house and retired myself to a local park. Sitting on the bench I swiped throw my contacts until I reached L, lily. I pressed on the phone icon and waited in anticipation as the phone rang.

"Vienna." A much less than pleased voice retorted.
"I'm sorry, I'm just- so sorry. Please can we meet up and talk?" I begged desperately.
"Starbucks, 10 minutes." She ordered and then hung up.

I couldn't help but feel that I was responsible for the rage she was feeling.

Yet, I still walked into the centre of town and ordered myself a drink. I would have been courteous and ordered her a drink but I was clueless as to what she would want. I received my drink and took a seat just as she walked in. Instead of ordering a drink herself she sat down at the table immediately. This was a serious matter.

I inhaled, "I am-"
"-Sorry. I get it." She angrily cut me off.
I opened my mouth to speak, however she obviously wasn't finished speaking yet.
"You don't get it do you? You just ignore things and don't even bother to get help!" She yelled, causing many people, including our classmates who were blissfully enjoying a coffee, to turn their heads. "You could've saved her and you didn't. Really, it's you who's a murderer!"

My jaw hung open and my gaze met hers. She could not accuse me, she was not there, how could she know that I didn't even try to save her? Surely she didn't mean it, she must be in shock. It was still unacceptable, I shook my head in anger and wrinkled my nose. I let a tear escape my eye, then another and another. I shook my head.
"Don't say that..." I whimpered.

She got up abruptly and began to walk away, she stopped and turned to face me. Her expressed filled with disgust, "we are no longer friends... Murderer..."