Lams One-Shots

Are You Satisfied?

John was beginning to get particularly annoyed with his boyfriend. Actually, he was the annoyed at the lack of his boyfriend. Alexander was never home, always at class, in the library, locked in his room, typing. He was always so immersed in his work, never with John. And John hated that. 

"Alexander," John mumbled, walking out of their bedroom. Alexander was hunched over the coffee table, slamming his fingertips into his laptop keyboard. Dark bags were under his eyes and there were three cups of his coffee and energy drink mix strewn across the table. Papers were strewn everywhere. "Come to bed." John rubbed his eyes, sleep filled.

"I can't John..." Alex whispers, voice hoarse and tired. "Too much schoolwork."

John rolls his eyes. "You can work on it tomorrow. This isn't healthy for you."

"No John," Alex says and turns back to his laptop. John crosses the room and puts a hand on Alexander's shoulder. 

"Babe, please, go to sleep with me."

"John, no," repeats Alex, exasperated. 

Alex says nothing and angrily starts to type again. John, agitated and wanting to get back to bed, finally breaks. He grabs Alex's laptop, closes it. 

"No Alexander, listen to me. You spend too much time with his damn laptop. Do you even care about me anymore? Do you even notice me? You come home, spend no time with me, and begin to type. Is your work more important than your relationship? Do you even love me anymore. No, are you even satisfied with me?" John's yelling by now, tears in his soft eyes, cheeks flushed. Alex's taken by shock, John's never yelled so much. 

"John, I--"

"Whatever," John says, both pissed and upset. He drags the back of his hand across his eyes and nose, wiping them. "Do whatever you want Alex."

He tosses the laptop back on the couch and goes to his old room (before they started dating and sleeping together) which was now the guest room and slams the door. 

Alexander watches, hurt and guilt pooling in his stomach. He glances over at his laptop, but can't bring himself to open it up after what John had just said. 

John wakes up, wondering where he was and why he was in the guest room. Then, he remembers what happened last night. Oh, he thinks. 

Tears escape his eyes as he recalls the way he shouted at Alex. Was he too harsh? Probably, he thinks, remembering Alexander's eyes when John began to shout Hurt, shocked, confused, sad. He rolls over onto his back and doesn't bother to wipe away his tears that were falling down his cheeks now. 

He stays in that position for awhile before deciding that sulking wasn't the best option. Rolling out of bed, John gets up. 

John walks out of the room, expecting to see Alexander, sitting at the dining room table, like always. Like always, he expected Alex to be typing, momentarily stopped to take a swig of coffee or a spoonful of soggy cereal. 

What he walked out to was definitely not that. 

Alexander was in the kitchen, making breakfast. "Morning," he says, when he hears John come out. He turns around and give John a soft smile. John didn't understand, Alexander should be upset. Alexander should be giving him the silent treatment. 

"Morning," John replies, groggily and warily. "What's going on?"

"I'm making breakfast, stupid." Alex says, wrapping an arm around John's waist. "Why? Do you have to be somewhere?"

"Uh, no, my first class is at one. You?"

"I start at noon, so we have a few hours together."

"Together?" John can't help but repeat, eyes wide as he looks over at Alexander.

Alex smiles at him, apologetic eyes. "Yes, together. Unless you have somewhere to be, then I completely understand--"

"No," John cut him off, smiling softly at his boyfriend. "I have nowhere to be." He was already in the place to be, in Alexander's arms, again. 

Alex smiles and kisses John's cheeks. "Great." 

Is he doing this as an apology? John wonders. Probably. This was unusual for their relationship. Usually, their apologies were just simple 'sorry's. He wasn't complaining, however, if he got any extra time with Alexander, he would take it. 

After breakfast, the two walk out, hand in hand. 

Talking, mindlessly, both boys are happy. More than happy, they're content with each other. Alex hadn't realized just how much he had missed John's company. More guilt rushed through him. He couldn't help but feel that he had abandoned John. He had been selfish and neglected not only his boyfriend, but his best friend. For what? Late nights typing when he could've been spending late nights with John (😉😏). They walked around for a bit then walked to campus to the coffee shop they liked. 

John checked his watch. His heart dropped when he realized the time. It was 11:50. Alex's first class was in 10 minutes. 

"Hey babe?" John says, squeezing Alexander's hand. 

"Yeah?" Alex asks. 

"It's ten to twelve," John says, trying to hide the disappointment in his voice. "You have to go now."

Alex looks down, and bunches his hands in his pockets, almost shyly. "I can take the day off, if you'd like."

John was shocked, this shocked him more than anything else that day. "What?" John says, disbelief lacing his voice. "You're shitting me." John knew Alex. And Alex would never cancel class, not for anything. He went to class the day he broke his arm. He went to class with a 102 degree fever. Never, ever, did Alexander Hamilton skip class. 

"No," Alexander says. "I'm not."

"Why?" John asks, losing Alex in his dark eyes. He brushes some of Alexander's hair away from his face. "Why all of this for me? Why today? Just....what's going on Alexander? Tell me." 

Alex takes a deep breath. "John, you were right. Last night, everything you said was absolutely right. I let my personal work flood into our relationship and made it messy. I neglected not only you, but us. I had but school over you, which is something that should never happen. I love you John, more than you'll know. And if that means skipping a class to show you, to rekindle what I had burned, then so be it. And, to answer your question, my dear, yes. Yes, I am satisfied with you. With us. I love you, John."

John let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. No matter how long he knew Alex, he always managed to knock the breath out of John. He willed himself not to start crying in the middle of campus. 

"Oh Alex," John whispered. "You never cease to astound me. You and your words, you have a real way with words. How do you make one person feel so special, Hamilton?" he runs his hand across Alex's cheek and Alex grins. 

"I'll try harder John," he promises, solemnly. "To not shut you out for my laptop. It isn't fair to you." 

John blushes and nods. "Thank you, Alexander."

Alex slips his hand into John's and laces their fingers around each other. "With you, I am always satisfied."