Lams One-Shots

Smile, My Darling, The Worst Is Yet to Come

guess who's back (for one one shot) and projecting their feelings onto john? lmao this girlll

John has seen with his own two eyes the way Alexander kisses Eliza. It's slow and passionate and the love is seeping from their kiss, burning into John's veins. Alex smiles between breaths and Eliza's hands are touching his cheeks. There are no walls, no emotional barriers. They kiss and they kiss and they kiss.

John has seen the way Alexander looks at Eliza, eyes spilling with affection. Affection that is bright, warm and sticky and it flows from his vision to his mouth where he tells Eliza how beautiful she looks today. He looks at her like she put each star in the dark sky

Everything about them, Eliza and Alex, is perfect. Their fingers match each other perfectly, clicking like puzzle pieces when they lace together. Eliza always knows the perfect thing to say to Alexander to make him smile. Or send <3 emoticons on the group chat. They always flirt shamelessly on the group chat, like no one else is there.

But John is there, and he's reading the texts of "hey baby :)" and "i'd always choose alex." And he's shattering. Little by little John's face crumples when he sees the messages, more and more does his heart pinch. Until he turns his phone off and refuses to look.

He knows that Alexander is happy, he's happy for Alexander. No...he wants to be happy for Alexander. He wants so desperately to smile for his best friend, a real smile when Alexander tells him about Eliza's laugh. Not one that's skewed with unspoken pain and brightened with unrequited feelings.

For once, he wants to wake up with his heart beating because of a nightmare, not because he's filled with thoughts of what if I never love anyone but Alex? What would I say if Alex marries Eliza? How long can I keep pretending it's all okay?

He has a motto that he repeats in his head, again and again, it drones like a mantra. Smile, John, smile. Smile and it can't hurt you. So he smiles, at everyone. He flashes a toothy grin at Lafayette and Hercules when they ask him if he's okay. He smiles at Peggy when she says she's worried about him. He smiles at Eliza when she apologizes for taking up so much of his best friend's time.

And he smiles at Alex.

Like he did back in high school when they snuck under the bleachers during gym. Or when they shared earbuds during pep rallies.

He smiles at Alex even if he says nothing. Because he's fine.

He remembers watching movies with Alex and Eliza and he got up to use the bathroom. And he comes back and they're kissing. It's dark in the room, the moonlight whispering through the waving curtains. The only light is Toy Story illuminating from the television.

And they break apart and Alex places his forehead against Eliza's.

"I love you, 'xander, so much," Eliza's voice is a beautiful hum.

And Alexander says nothing. And that was the killer part, he said nothing, but John knew Alexander meant everything. His silence was channeling every loving emotion towards Eliza.

johnny rockets: good morning. did u sleep last night?

salamander hammyton: nope. essay due soon.

johnny rockets: how soon?

salamander hammyton: soon.

johnny rockets: alexander.

salamander hammyton: a week and a half

johnny rockets: !! alexander !! you didn't have to pull an all-nighter!