Letterman Jacket

18 / forty-two days before

The night seemed to glow brighter.

The shine of the stars against the dark blue hues gave me little comfort as I watched Sutton's Ferrari drive away from the window. Pushing my hands further into the pockets of the hoodie I wore, I walked away from the glass and crawled underneath the covers, hoping that the physical and emotional fatigue of today's events would consume me whole and lull me into a deep sleep.

But my mind stayed awake.

It stayed awake amidst the growing silence and the passing of the hour, playing back the images of Faust on the big screen as the girl claimed her prize; the sounds of Theo's furiousness, Faust's bitter words, the blow of the anger their fists created; the look of horror in my brother's battered face when he'd seen me standing there after Nico had rushed in to stop the fight. The lack of expression in Faust's.

Without a word, I had turned back and left. No one had stopped me.

Sutton and I had spent the rest of our Friday pigging out with meat and cheap beer. Going home after that to shower while Sutton waited for me wasn't as dismaying.

Until I was left alone with my thoughts once again.

The door slammed open some minutes later. Sitting up, I rubbed the tiredness out of my eyes while Theo looked at me with an expression I couldn't read.

"Hey," he said awkwardly. "You're home."

I hummed in response.

"I fell asleep while waiting for you." He rubbed the nape of his neck. "Where'd you go? Who were you with?"

"The Grill. Sutton."

"...I couldn't reach your phone."

"I turned it off," I answered quietly, hugging myself.

Theo let out a heavy breath. "It's past midnight, Thea."

"I'm well aware, thanks. What, I can't go out without asking you?"

"Stop being a brat," he snapped suddenly, stepping closer to the bed. "We need to talk."

Sighing, I nodded. "Okay. You look awful."

Theo laughed. In this light, the purple color of the huge bruise on his face seemed more prominent. "That's one way to put it. I feel like shit."

"You shouldn't have gotten into a fight with Faust, then."

He snorted. "Your boyfriend shouldn't have kissed some other girl. Hell, he shouldn't have been in the game in the first place."

I looked away, knowing he was right. "He asked to be opted out this year. Paula said so."

"He should know better than to trust cheerleaders."

"Then he had no choice."

"He had a choice to say no," Theo countered harshly, pinning me with a firm gaze. "The winner picked him and he could've said no, but he didn't because he cared about his reputation."

"Yeah," I mumbled, grabbing a pillow and tugging it closer to my chest, "I heard. I heard him say it. Doesn't mean it hurts any less."

My brother searched my expression, eyebrows drawing together. "How much did you hear?"

I blinked, confused. "What?"

"Thea," he said, voice dripping with subtle accusation and a barely-there fear, "how long were you and Nico standing there?"

No point in lying now. I reached up to knead my forehead with my fingers. "As soon as the livestream ended. I heard what you said about Anya if that's what you're asking. What Faust said."