Letterman Jacket

epilogue

Sutton tapped the microphone.

"To our principal, Mr. Dawson, our dedicated teachers and staff, respected guests, family and friends, and my fellow graduates, good morning."

Nico sits down on the edge of my bed. His eyes follow my every move as I recheck the empty closets and drawers. "So," he starts. "It's today."

I close my closet doors and turn around to face him. He's fiddling with his fingers on his lap. "Nico..."

"I know, I'm fine," he says hurriedly, shooting me a small smile. "I know you're leaving today. And I'm okay."

No, he isn't.

"Your flight is in one week," I remind him again, stepping forward. "It's just one week apart, baby."

He needs me. He's needed me, and I've needed him ever since that night—even when there are no words exchanged between us. There's desperation in the touch of our fingers, the gentle kisses shared, the way we hold each other at night. There's just desperation in the way we need each other.

But it's Nico who's reliving the nightmare over and over and over for the rest of his life—because he was the one who had been in the water with Faust.

But he came back for me.

I take his hand. "Then you'll follow me, right?"

"Yeah," he murmurs. His thumb brushes my skin lightly. "Anywhere."

"Today's graduation is a culmination of all our hard work these past years, and as we celebrate this milestone in our lives, let us savor this moment with grateful hearts."

"We're going to college," I say.

Nico takes a deep breath. "Faust isn't."

Faust isn't going to college. He didn't even get to decide on his university yet. "I know."

"Paula isn't," he continues. "Sullivan isn't."

"We're never going to see them again. We're okay."

"But JJ and Sutton and Theo are. Even Beau."

I nod. "Yeah."

"And me," Nico whispers. "And you."

Faust's body was found one mile down the coastline.

"To our school administrators, our principal, our teachers—both past and present—thank you for preparing us for our future. Certainly, we are fortunate to have been your students. As we take off to our universities, we ask that you wish us well."

Nico wraps his arms around me. "Huxley is just a few miles away from Oxbridge. A fifteen-minute drive."

I smile at him. "I know. We looked it up together."

He hums and buries his face against my neck. "It was vital information."

"My dorm is strict."

"I'll sneak in. That's what I've been doing these past few months."

I tangle my fingers in his hair. "My house and the dorms are different."

"Don't care," he mumbles against my skin. "I'll find a way. I can't sleep without you. The nightmares are too much."

My chest aches. Even when he slept beside me...there were times when he couldn't escape the night terrors. I press a sweet kiss on his forehead. "I'll find a way to sneak out to go to your apartment, too."

Nico tightens his hold on me. "Promise?"

"Promise."

"To all our dear parents, thank you for the love and inspiration. Thank you for your unending support and unquestioning belief in our abilities. We love you all very much."

My father pushes open the door and peeks inside.

Nico pushes me away and sits up straighter on the bed. He clears his throat.

I snicker.

Dad arches an eyebrow. "You ready to go? We have a flight to catch."

"Ten minutes," I promise.

He narrows his eyes at Nico before turning away. He leaves the door slightly open.

Nico exhales heavily. "He still hasn't forgiven me."

I grin and pull him to me. "I don't think you earn brownie points for making out with his daughter in the kitchen."

Nico leans down to brush his lips against mine. "That was your fault. You were being a tease."

"I was not!"

"To our classmates and friends, I believe we have helped one another achieve this success. Our talents and hard work all made a difference. I wish you all the achievements and failures, the experiences, the joyous moments and heartbreaks—everything that life has to offer. Let's start anew and finish. Then let's start again."

Nico checks the time on his watch. "We're stopping by his grave, right?"

I nod. "Yeah. Let's say goodbye."

He shuts his eyes. "Still hurts." His hand goes to his chest. "Here."

"I know," I say. "I know. It still hurts." I cup his cheek. "Thank you for coming back to me."

Nico leans into my touch. "Always, mi amor."

"I love you," I whisper. "I love you, I love you, I love you."

He grins. "You sure?"

I pull him back again for another slow kiss. "I'm sure. Scout's honor."

"And to Faust Carter."

Nico hands me the jacket hanging behind the chair just as I shoulder my duffel bag. "You'll need this."

I take the jacket into my hands. My fingers brush over the digits printed on its lapel. "I wasn't sure if I was going to bring it. That's why I didn't pack it..."

"Bring it," Nico murmurs. "We're still coping. It's kind of a reminder that he was real."

I swallow the lump in my throat. "That he was real or that what happened was real?"

Nico's lips curled into a small smile. "Both."

I put on the jacket.

Hey, Faust.

"You are forever in our hearts. We are thinking about you."

I still think about you.

"Rest in peace."

Rest in peace.

"Once again, congratulations to us, batch of 2016. Thank you and good morning."