Letterman Jacket

when he lost him

Nico's breath came in quick pants as he searched Thea's eyes.

Fear. Love. Panic. Worry—all of them etched into her beautiful gaze, brimming with tears.

It hurt. It hurt so much, and Nico—for the first time in a long time, was terrified.

Theo raised his hands in the air. "What do you want? Why are you doing this?"

Killian's voice was chilling when he said, "Like I told your sister, all of you already know too much." He moved, inching backwards, and Nico's feet almost stumbled forward, his eyes fixed on Killian's grip on Thea. Thea. "Right now, though, I want you to watch. Again, if any of you move, I'm going to hurt Thea. I think red is a pretty color on her."

Without a beat passing, Killian raised his leg and kicked JJ into the water.

Faust cried out—but Nico couldn't hear him.

His scream was far.

There were only a flashes of movement from Thea and Killian, but Nico was frozen—didn't know where to go. Who to reach first. His heart was pounding loudly against his ears, vision turning blurry.

"Nico!" Theo snatched his wrist. "Fucking run!"

So he did—his senses coming back to life, and with it came the rage. Pure, white-hot rage surged through him, brought alive by his fear and anger. There was heat on his skin, scorching his bones—and all he could think about was the feral instinct to hurt Killian.

So hurt him he did.

"Stop!" Thea shouted, somewhere behind him, but he couldn't hear her properly either. She was too far. "Nico. Stop. That's enough."

"Help!" Faust's voice echoed across the trees. "Nico! Get down here!"

Theo looked at him. "Go. I'll check on Sutton."

Nico didn't want to stop, but one name burned loudly in his head: JJ.

In the water, Faust grabbed JJ's lifeless body and came up, struggling for breath. "Nico, Nico!"

He ran faster, jumped in without wasting a breath.

"Take him!" Faust yelled over the water's roar, the deathly pull of a rip current almost grabbing him. "Nico!"

Nico reached for JJ, still unconscious. "Faust, come on!"

His head went underwater for a second before coming back up. "Take JJ! It's strong, damn it!"

Nico took his friend into his arms, grunting against the added weight leaning on his body. "Theo!" he yelled desperately.

He felt the pull getting stronger. With one arm, he reached for Faust.

But he was too far.

"Go, get out of here!" Faust shouted, still fighting against the current.

There was blood roaring in Nico's ears.

He was afraid.

"Don't fucking get in!" he yelled at Theo, who nearly toppled over the coastline. Nico swam faster, feeling all of his instincts to survive come to life. "The pull's strong—take JJ!"

Theo took JJ into his arms, and Nico turned around for Faust.

But he wasn't there.

"I got him—where the fuck is Carter?"

Nico searched frantically along the waves. No. He was just here. He wasn't gone. Nico just saw him a moment ago. A heartbeat ago.

He forced his eyes to stay open as he went underwater, but all he could see was darkness. His arms flailed around—searching for Faust, for any sign of him, until his lungs started to burn.

Nico thought he knew fear. He'd been afraid—afraid in all the ways he could've been afraid.

But this—this was an all-consuming terror.

They were yelling Nico's name.

They were also yelling Faust's.

Faust. He had to find Faust.

Nico rose from the water for air, but he was taken under a wave before he could even breathe.

The pull of the current grabbed his ankles, his wrists—and for a brief moment, he wondered if he should stop fighting.

He lost him.

And then he was above the water, and he panted, losing and gaining breath in one go. He could hear his heart breaking—piece by piece.

"Damn it, Nico," Theo growled, shaking him. "He's gone! I'm not going to let you fucking drown, too!"

No.

Nico struggled against his grip even as he was also fighting for air. "Let go!" he screamed. "I have to find Faust, let me go—"

"Stop it!" Theo yelled, eyes wild as he looked at Nico. "Thea needs you, man! Are you going to fucking leave her? Is that what you want?"

Thea. Her name stilled him.

Theo pulled himself and Nico out of the water, and Nico's knees buckled. I lost him. I lost him.

Nico rushed over to Thea, inhaling shakily at the sight of ruby red seeping through her stomach. "Thea," he whispered in a voice broken and small, "hey. Stay awake. Come on, baby."

"Where's Faust?" Thea murmured, and it was a fight for her to keep her eyes open. "I...just saw him."

"I lost him," Nico said. He lost him. "I lost him. Thea, hey, come on. Keep your eyes open."

There are tears running down his cheeks. He lost him. He was not going to lose Thea too.

When the light in Thea's eyes began to dim, Nico shook her violently. His heart was breaking. Each piece lost felt like a stab to the chest. "Hey! Thea, no, keep your eyes open, okay? You are not leaving me too, do you understand?"

"Hurts," Thea whispered. "Nico, it hurts."

It hurt, too. "I know, baby," Nico said. "Stay awake, okay?"

"I...can't."

"Thea?"

She couldn't answer anymore.

Nico felt walls closing in on him. His breaths came short as he tried to wake her again.

His heart was breaking. It hurts.

"They said they'll be here in ten minutes," Theo's voice said. He was too far away.

"We don't have ten minutes!" Nico shouted desperately, breaking into a sob so empty and hollow. "Please. Please."

"She's going to be fine, stop panicking! Wake her up."

"Thea? Thea!"

He lost him.

But he would not lose her, too.