UNDRESSED◦ROBERT LEWANDOWSKI [2]

SIXTEEN

AURORA

I knew something was off, I didn't dare to say a word about it. Robert acted very suspicious lately and I had a feeling I know what's going on. It was Anna. I met her only yesterday at the clothing store I am working at, she came in looking for a red tight dress and of course I had to help her. Then we decided to grab a coffee together, after all, I have no friends in Munich and it was nice meeting new people. She is on a vacation here, we clicked immediately, but ever since she officially met Robert, everything has changed.

Now she acts like the most standoffish and stuck up person I've ever met, she ignores my existence completely, the only thing that probably matters to her is Robert of course.

We went out to a club, just Robert, Anna, Mats and I. Soon enough Robert and Anna got into a deep conversation in Polish, leaving me out of it. It came to the point where it seems like Robert forgot he has a girlfriend. I decided to get drunk all by myself, Mats was somewhere on the dance floor.

I ordered shot after shot, I wanted to get drunk and forget about what I sacrificed for Robert because he convinced how he loves me, which was obviously a lie. I can clearly see that he's no longer interested in me, I have nothing here in Munich, I can go back to my real home, Dortmund.

"Rough night?" the bartender asked me, I nodded my head before taking another shot. I like the clubs in Dortmund way better, my favorite bartender always knew what is my regular drink.

"What do you think about these two?" I asked him, referring to Robert and Anna, Anna was laughing at some joke Robert told her. The sight broke my heart, I'm here for five days and he already ruined everything. I should've stayed in Dortmund, how could I even believe him when he told me he loves me? Robert was always a liar.

"They look like a great couple." was all the bartender said, breaking my heart slowly. Robert officially broke my heart. There was no going back, I'm here for nothing, I have to go back home. I hated going out to clubs and Robert knew it, yet, he insisted the four of us must go clubbing tonight. I bet it's because he wanted to be close to Anna, he was sick of me already and now he found someone so similar to him.

Anna was everything Robert needed, she liked sports, she was Polish, she was the same age as he is. And I was just the same immature girl he met six years ago, I haven't changed while he did. He became a grown man while I stayed the same, I'm young and careless, we shouldn't be together anymore. It's clearly not working, I knew it will happen, I knew something so drastic will happen. It's always like this in our relationship, shit happens.

Robert and I just can't be together.

I sighed before taking another shot, I was determined to get myself drunk to death, I wanted to stop feeling. I wanted to stop loving him. Loving him was too painful for me, I just hope it won't be hard for as it is to me.

How could I possibly think I'll ever get real friends? Nat and Francesca were the only ones I trusted, everybody else tried to use me in order to get closer to my friends. I'm still the same naïve girl.

I should've suspected her when she started questioning me about Robert and mine's relationship, how stupid could I be?

I hate not knowing what to do, I hate loving him, I hate it when he breaks me into pieces. Loving him was never an easy thing, but it was way harder for me. All my powers are gone, I'm about give up on him.

I glanced every now and then at the two lovebirds, jealousy was the only thing I felt. I'm in love with him. All the memories crawled back to my mind, I'm still the same eighteen year old girl he met in the university of arts. He broke me these days but he fixed, now there's nothing that can be fixed, I'm broken for eternity.

She flipped her hair every now and then, exposing her shoulder, trying to get his attention towards her perfect body. He liked it, the sexual tension between these two was appalling, making me want to puke.

I took another shot, it began to drive me crazy, seeing the man you love the most being all over another woman. It shattered me mentally, making me want to disappear from the world. How could he do that to me?

It made me wonder if all the times he told me he loves me in the past two days were fake, he didn't mean it. He made me feel like a fool, seeing him smiling widely at another girl was terrible, they really did look in love, no wonder why the bartender thought they are a couple.

And I was the miserable looking girl that sat all by myself next to the bar, getting drunk just to forget her boyfriend. I probably looked pathetic, I was ashamed of myself, he made me look so desperate and hopeless, I couldn't thank him enough for making me realize what a mistake I made by coming to Munich with him.

I don't need to cry over his fuckboyish actions, he's not worth any of it, he doesn't love my anymore and that was fine. It's just another reason for me to go back to Dortmund.

I made my way to the dancefloor, walking towards Mats, I almost fell to the floor, I was too drunk. He noticed me and immediately grabbed me, I looked up at my German friend and laughed to myself, I'm going insane.

"What's going on?" he asked, he was worried, I couldn't understand why? Robert had fun with Anna and I had fun with the twelve shots of Grey Goose.

"I can only assume I'm single now, can I crash at your place?" I asked, a smile plastered to my face the whole time, I looked crazy, I was going mad just because of Robert. He ruined me, breaking me deeply and slowly, can you imagine how painful it is?

I'm in love with him, but I hate him. What have you done to me, Lewy?

"Yeah, let's go." Mats said, he was having fun and I made him go back early because of my broken-aching heart, he always suffers because of Robert and mine's problems, poor Mats.

We drove in silence, I didn't want to talk about Robert, I wasn't in the mood and Mats noticed it because he kept being quiet as well. He didn't want to ask anything about Robert and Anna but I'm sure he will find out very soon what happened in the club. We both got out of the car as he parked it in his garage, he opened the door, letting me enter his house first.

"You can sleep in my bed, I'll crash on the sofa." He said, I smiled, I can't let him sleep on the sofa, it's his house, after all I'm desperate for a place to sleep on, I should sleep on the sofa instead.

"I'll stay on the sofa, it's fine Mats, you can go to sleep." I said and he nodded, he was too tired and I felt bad for him, he need to deal with my problems now.

I laid down on the surprisingly comfortable sofa and looked up at the ceiling, thinking what I did so wrong that I deserve all of this. He loves me, I know he does but ignoring me the whole night wouldn't help him prove it. We grew up, we've changed, he's not the same person I used to know anymore, he is more mature now while I'm the young-dumb girl in the relationship. I graduated from the university two years ago, I haven't experienced nothing in life yet, he did.

I don't belong with him.