Comrades in Action Book 2: Aiden Montaniez

Promises

Pagkasara ng pinto. Naiwan silang nakatayo lang. Sa loob ng kwarto niya.

"Nica, please say something..."

It felt strange. So very strange hearing him say the words for the first time that I couldn't stop myself from staring at his face for any hint of lies.

No.

I saw none of it.

I gulped. Suddenly nervous of the situation.

We just stood there.

Wala ni isa man sa amin ang gustong bumasag ng nakabibinging katahimikan.

How can I? Kung para akong tinakasan ng sarili kong boses?

I din't expect him to say THE three words so suddenly.

Well how did you expect him to say it, huh Dominica? Kailangan ba muna niyang magpaalam sa iyo? Like saying 'hey, I wanna tell you I love you, so don't be too surprised when I say it, okay?' Ganoon ba ang ine-expect mo?

I bit my lip. Parang gusto kong sipain ang sarili ko sa naisip. Tama nga naman. At isa pa, these are the words that I've been waiting to hear from him. So how come I suddenly don't know what to say? Or where to start?

"I.. I don't know what to say..." Ang namamanghang pag-amin ko.

Tumitig ako kay Aiden. I saw him paled. His lips are slightly shaking and he bit them just to stop them from doing so.

He looked...

Scared.

Umiwas ito ng tingin. Nagbuga ng hangin na para bang nahihirapan itong huminga. Tumikhim ito saka tumingin sa akin.

"Why..?"

One word. Just one word and yet..

Huminga ako ng malalim. Ang bigat sa dibdib.

Kinapa ko ang dibdib ko.

Ayaw nitong tumugon..

It's like my heart is doubting something..

I know I love him. But somehow.. somehow there is this doubt inside of me that I just can't ignore.

"Why?" Tanong ulit nito.

Hindi ako sumagot.

Marahas itong napabuga ng hangin. Frustration etched on his face.

"I'm opening up to you. Ano pa ba ang kulang ha Dominica?" Ang nahihirapang nitong sabi.

He's opening up to me, yes. He's finally telling me what he feels but I know, I know that deep down, there is just something he's not telling me and I want to know. I don't want to be kept in the dark anymore.

"There is something you're not telling me." I said, voicing the question in my head.

He stiffened. He remained silent.

"Aiden, I want to know." She whispered. "I want you to tell me everything."

He paled. "Nica..."

"No, Aiden. If you really want us to start over? With no lies? Then tell me the truth. I want it—Everything.."

He was silent for a minute. He sighed then ran his fingers through his hair.

Masyado ko na siyang kilala para malaman na kapag ganoon ang inakto nito, may isang mabigat na bagay itong pinag-iisipan.

And right now, I know.

He's contemplating. He's thinking if he's going to tell me or not.

I waited.