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Emnabm2 -- A letter to Bennett

A letter to Bennett by Emnabm2   

Dear Bennett,

If you ever found this, and before I start speaking, I want to tell you how much I'm sorry.

You're an awesome brother, a perfect twin and a gentleman.

You know, I've been through a lot, we've been through a lot. You used to protect me and be by my side.
You used to hear me and understand me.
But everything changed..
I understand you so please don't blame yourself.
Since the first day of our last year in high-shcool, I knew something horrible would happen.

I passed out in the gym class and Isaac took me to the nurse.
I'm sorry because I didn't tell you but.. the nurse told me it would be better if I visited a doctor.

I refused, obviously. We don't have money and you know that our parents wouldn't care less to pay for anything, we're lucky that they let us eat.

Anyway, you on your side, you were busy making friends each day. I didn't want to be a bother since your friends didn't seem to like me, I tried my best to avoid them,
But they didn't try their best.

When you went to visit aunt Kelly, and when I stayed alone, they bullied me.
They told me that you hate me to death and that I was only a bother, I always had been.
They made some pranks, rumors and all that stuff.

I wanted you back, badly. I needed you to protect me and be by my side.

Every day you weren't around, I was breaking slowly and deeply.

My health wasn't in a good state too. I even started coughing blood.

I'm sorry that I had to let you know in this way, but you didn't let me explain before.

When you come back, Alexis who was supposed to be your girlfriend lied to you and you believed her.

She said to you that I was a completely sl*t. She told you I tried my best to make her break up with you and that your so named friend John slept with me, for money.

I'm sorry but I need to ask you something, did you ever believed in me? Did you know me enough?

If you did, you would just deny everything. No actually if you did, you would get away from them.

I was bullied, I got punched several times by students. And all you cared about when you came was " I can't believe you turned into a whore sister. I don't know you anymore. Breaking up my couple?
Sleeping with my friends for money? You are a sl*t.. I hope you'll die soon."

I was okay with everything when it's been told by anyone else even through it was wrong.
People love to judge, it's a drug to them and I won't blame them cause me myself, I already judged some people.
But hearing such words coming from you.. the person who knew me the best, hurts..
It hurts and it made me believe that I am a real sl*t. And I wished to die,

We barely spoke after that incident. Well, we didn't speak at all. You hated me.

And I'm glad you did cause missing me will be eliminated once I'm dead.

I kept on coughing blood and my state got worse since you left me alone.

I know, that if you didn't hate me back then, you would get a work to afford me the doctor's pills.
But since you did hate me, I had to work by myself.

I got a job in a restaurant, and you knew that I was always absent at home from 4p.m to 1a.m.

So now you know why, after accusing me that I had become a prostitute.
I don't blame you.