"I'm fine...." "...No you're not" BTS Jin Ff

Part 5: Sick and Tired

Jia pov
*before Jin texted her*

I was standing in the waiting room of the hospital, my dad had a heart attack. Mum was sitting next to me with an annoyed face.

"Are you okay mum?" I asked.

"No, I'm not! That should've been me, he doesn't deserve this." She exclaimed.

"What do you mean." My voice quavered.

"I have the heart problems not HIM, I should be getting the sympathy, not HIM!"

A nurse can in shushing mum, woah she just made the wrong move.

"I wasn't YELLING!" She yelled.

I did know how to react, I grabbed my mums wrist trying to calm down.

"Mianhae, mianhae..." I repeatedly bowing at the nurse. She nodded and walked away.

"Mum, let's go outside, we need to talk..."

I dragged my mum outside.

"Can you just stop!" I raised my voice.

"I haven't done anything wrong!"

"Yes, you have, you always talk about yourself, and pick things up that happened 30 years ago, you need to mo-"

"How could you say that, it's your dad who has a problem, he abuses me and he hates me. He doesn't love me, do know the last time he's even touched-"

"I DONT NEED TO FUCKING KNOW!!!!" I screamed.
"It's none of my business! And you wonder why I never leave my room-" I quietened my voice.

"All you care about is your dancing Asian boys, why can't you be there for me Jia?? Why do you want me to kill myself?" She started crying.

Anger started building up inside of me.

"Why do you expect me to be there for me when YOU aren't even there for me, when I try talking to you, you just brush it off and say that it's nothing. And that I have nothing to worry about and start talking about yourself!" I said in one breath.

"You're fine, I'm the one who needs you to be there for me, do you know how much I've had to go through my whole life."

"Why? I do know what you have been through, but you need to let go of it! Do YOU know what I have been through???"

"You selfish bitch, you don't care about anything but yourself and your stupid boy groups!"

"Don't....don't ever call me selfish when you're the one who talks about yourself all the time!!"

"Jia, how could you say that! I HAVE TO GO MEDICATION BECAUSE OF YOUR FATHER AND MY FAMILY!! IM THE ONE WHO NEEDS THE SYMPATHY!!" She screamed.

I've had enough, I don't want anything to do with her ever again.

"I'm moving out, I don't want to live with you guys, I don't want to see or hear from you guys AGAIN!!" I got louder with each word.

I turned around ready to walk away when a hand gripped onto my wrist.

I turned and saw mum glowing with rage.

"If you leave... You can't come back crawling to us." She dug her nails into my wrists where my newly cut wounds were. I flinched in pain.

"Let... go of me.." I said in a low voice.

She just dug her nails further into my skin that I could feel blood dripping from my wrists. I gathered all my strength and pulled my arms away from her ran.

I still had tears streaming down my face as I ran. I could hear still yelling at me but I blocked it out and just kept running.

I had tears rolling down my face, I was crying so much, I didn't care that people were looking at me in the street, I didn't care that I didn't know where I was going, I didn't care about anything. I stood under a tree staring up at the leaves. I felt weak, I wiped my tears away but they kept falling, they wouldn't stop, I've bottled up everything until now, I don't want to live like this. I felt in my phone in my pocky vibrate.

J- where are you?
Me- something came up, sorry.
J- that's okay, what happened?
Me- gtg talk to you later!!

I sobbed harder, how did I forget, I hate that anything good happens it turns bad. I didn't want to tell him what happened but yet I wanted to tell him everything, pour everything out to him, but the last time I ever did that, they just avoided me. What happened to the old me? What happened to the me that was always open and happy. Everyone thinks I'm still the same, but I just don't let them see this sad person locked away inside of me. I sometimes wonder, is it really worth living if you have to hide yourself all the time. I wonder why was I brought into this world, did I deserve all this?? Is it worth living? My body felt weak and before I knew it, I began falling to the ground, the last thing I felt was a pair of arms wrapped around me, I would've fought back, but I didn't have the strength. I didn't feel like acting anymore. I closed my eyes and fell into darkness.

(A/n) Hehe, guess who it is??? BTS will appear more in the story by the way! Hope you enjoyed reading ^ - ^