"I'm fine...." "...No you're not" BTS Jin Ff

Part 21: Jiyoung

Jiyoung

Age: 32 (current age)

14 years ago(from present time)

Aged 18

I'm finally free. I cried out on the train.

People looked at me weirdly from my sudden outburst. I bowed politely apologising.

I couldn't stop smiling, I'm really finally free.

As I stepped off the train, all the emotions started hitting me quickly.

I stood there for a good 20 minutes, rethinking what I just did. I wanted to get back onto that train back to Seoul but I knew I shouldn't.

"Shit." I swore at myself.

I squeezed my eyes together, what the fuck are you doing Jiyoung. I scolded myself.

I had no money, no phone, nowhere to go, just a bag full of clothes and possessions.

I felt myself go light headed for a moment, I stumbled to the nearest seat.

I held my head in my hands that were trembling. I started to realise what I just did, the same doing which I despised my brother for, all the adrenaline was gone, and was now replaced with regret.

"You're so fucking dumb." My vision blurring from my tears.

"Excuse me sir." Someone nudged my shoulder.

I looked up and saw a woman staring back at me. Her eyes looked hard and annoyed but then they suddenly softened when we made eye contact.

"I'm sorry, but you can't stay here, it's late." Her voice was calm and wasn't as stern as before.

I slowly nodded and stood up, grabbing my bag as I walked away. I walked out to the unfamiliar streets of Busan. I sat outside of the train station, not knowing where to go.

I wonder if hyung felt like this when he left...

A sudden gust of wind sent shivers down my spine. I bet this was a sad sight to see me like this, out on the streets, shivering from the cold weather. I was so cold that the temperature could freeze  my tears on my face.

I looked up at the dark sky, Hyung, I understand you now.

I felt so much guilt from the voicemails I left him, they were harsh words I used, i hope he never listened to them. I was immature when I was 13...

I picked up the phone and dialled my brother number.

"Sorry, this number seem unavailable at the moment, please leave a voicemail after the tone."

I clenched the phone tightly at my ear.

"I hate you Hyung, I fucking hate you, you're a coward, you left everything behind, me, you left me behind," I couldn't hold back my tears anymore. "H-how could you do that to me, us, Jisu and Jia. Jisu is non-stop crying, Jia's confused and I'm-"