80's Wish

Chapter 13

I was fuming with anger how could he call me a bitch? I know he didn't mean it but that doesn't mean it hurt any less.

As if Tom could read my thoughts he turns to me and says "you know he didn't mean it right?" Running a hand through my tangled hair I sigh and nod.

"Yes but he still should not have said it."

I was used to being called a bitch back in 2015 but that was by my friends like Regina and in a joking tone not in a way that seemed to slice right through me.

The irony of the situation was killing me in that moment as I thought of how far away ( in the past) 2015 seemed yet in reality it wasn't to occur for another 22 years. It was a fact I was struggling to wrap my head around and I suddenly felt dizzy because for a split second I forgot where I was from and if I was ever going back. Suddenly a very overwhelming fear was at the front of my mind when it had only been lurking in the back seemingly invisible.

I sank onto the bed and put my head in my hands; my vision going blurry and my hearing fading in and out. Someone was talking but I couldn't understand what they were saying or if they were even speaking to me. I was vaguely aware of the hands on my wrists but my head was spinning to fast and thoughts/memories were racing around my head.

I felt as if I stood up my knees would fall out from beneath me. My chest was beginning to feel tight and it was getting harder to breathe I instantly recognised the symptoms...I was having a panic attack. I had had them before in my life though not many but enough to know what they were.

Almost immediately after coming to this realisation I felt myself being picked up off the bed and being carried to where I wasn't sure until I felt the cool breeze hit my skin. Whoever was carrying me sat me down gently onto the cement of the tiny balcony.

I felt a hand rub my back gently talking to me in a soothing voice I wasn't aware of what they were saying but the voice was calming me down and I was beginning to feel clear and stable again. Not immediately but slowly and surely I was recovering.

I looked up to see Patrick sitting next to me I don't know who I expected to see sitting there but for some reason seeing Patrick surprised me.

"Wh-what-"

"Tom got me...now do you want to tell me what all that was about?"

"To be completely honest I couldn't even tell you if I tried." I told him looking towards the city of Tulsa.

I could see his disbelieving glance in the corner of my eye but I honestly couldn't tell him what it was about because I'm not even sure if I know myself.

"Well when you do figure it out you can come talk to me you know?" he said standing up brushing off his jeans as if he has been sitting in the dirt.

I looked up at him and nodded forcing a small smile onto my face and with that he left. I shuffled closer to the edge of the balcony and put my legs through the black steel bars of the railing letting them dangle over the edge.

The cool air felt good on my skin like a cold rag on your forehead when you had fever.

I tried to process what just happened but no matter how hard I tried I couldn't figure it out.

Sighing I stood up and got changed for bed, Tom had obviously left when I'd had my attack. It didn't bother me though I was happy to be alone for once since my incident.

Slipping into some loose shorts and a tank top I climbed into the stark white bed leaving the light on because the thought of pitch black frightened me for some unfathomable reason tonight.

"AJ?" I slowly opened my eyes to see Rob standing in the door way holding two take away cups of coffee and a brown bag. I sat up against the headboard attempting to rub the sleep from my eyes "What do you want?" I grumbled frowning at him. "I want to apologise for what I said yesterday...I honestly didn't mean it. I don't even know how I said it-well I mean I know how but why-"

"Rob! I get it...you're sorry." I chuckle at his rambling and furrowed eyebrows. "So does that mean I'm forgiven?" I shrug "Depends...is that coffee for me?" With a sly grin he nods walks over to hand me one.

"You can sit down you know." I mutter into the lid of my drink.

"Rob, you know I didn't mean to upset you yesterday but I'm not someone who needs constant care or wants it. I am extremely independent and I know you were just trying to help but I'm not someone who deals with help well...if that makes any sense."

With a snicker he nods and takes a drink from his cup before replying "Yeah I know...I over reacted but I really do care about you and I just couldn't stand anything happening to you again."

"Come here" I beckon leaning over and putting my arms around his neck and connecting my lips to his a feeling I don't know if I will ever get used to.

The butterflies began to flutter in my stomach and my heart began to race and I don't think this reaction will ever cease when I kiss him.