The End Where I Begin (Book Four of the Glen Power Series)

Chapter 5

A/N -  Just before you read this, please be warned that the next two chapters deal with some difficult matters. So read at your own risk. Thanks x

*********************************

What am I going to do...

I see people come and go from the waiting room through a blur. Their conversations merge into one, a dull droning that never ceases.

This can't be happening...

The jiggling of Mark's legs shakes my chair. I've got such a headache. It's too hot...but too cold...I can't make sense of anything.

I can't have children...

But I can. Unless this is just a sick fault on that test, then I'm having a baby. I'm having Glen's baby. This should be the best moment of my life. But fate's twisted plan for my life means that the thought alone is terrifying.

“Glen's going to freak.”

The words leave my mouth before I even think of them. I feel Mark's hand on my knee but refuse to meet his eyes.

“You don't know that.”

“I told him that I couldn't have children. And now I might be pregnant. Would you take that news well?”

“It's Glen. He takes most things well.”

“Bollocks, Mark. Bollocks. That's the biggest load of bullshit I've ever fucking heard.”

“You know I don't normally say this, but tone it down. There's kids...”

I sigh, cradling my aching head in my hands. Why can't this just be simple? Why can't I be one of those women that find this the best feeling in the world? Why can't I just be normal?

Please, God. Please be a mistake...

“Mrs Power?” I hear the call, but I don't answer. I can't. I just can't face this.

Mark's hands gently ease me up, guiding me through to the examination room. The familiar face of the doctor that's been taking care of me since my incident smiles at me warmly. I try to smile back, but I sense that it comes out more of a grimace. I have to look away. The shame...

“How can I help you today?”

I open my mouth, but the words won't come out. They stick in my throat, digging into the flesh, desperately trying to stay hidden. If I don't say them, then they aren't true. I can just go home and fall into the embrace of my husband. This isn't happening...

But it could be. And I need to know.

“I think...” I start, but have to clear my throat to dislodge the rest of the words. “I think I'm pregnant.”

The words ring through the silence that follows. I manage to force my eyes up to look at my doctor, and I see the look of guilt on his face. But he doesn't actually say anything. Mark's arm wraps around me as my body starts to shake with the fear and he pulls me into his neck. 'Protective best friend' mode has been switched on.

“You told her that she couldn't get pregnant,” he snaps.

“We didn't think...”

“You didn't think or just couldn't be fucking arsed to tell her the truth?”

“Mark...” I mumble, but he doesn't listen.

“She's been killing herself for over a year, believing that the entire possibility of ever having a baby of her own was a lost cause. And now you're looking at her with that fucking look on your smarmy face...”