The End Where I Begin (Book Four of the Glen Power Series)

Chapter 12

Would you ever believe it if somebody told you that they were having too much sex? That their partner was exhausted with the amount of love they had to provide? That they could not stop the fire in their stomach, no matter where they were, and that it was practically ruining their life?

I beg of you. Believe me when I say this. We can't take much more.

Sex is supposed to be the most intimate thing you can share with a person. A moment of pure bliss that shows the other person just how much you love them. It's always been like that with me and Glen. Even the drunk fucking at the beginning was never really just 'fucking'. We were drawn to each other like a magnet, because deep down we knew that we belong together. Always and forever.

But this? This that we're doing is a chore. The person that takes me over doesn't even enjoy this any more. I can see the exhaustion in his face every day as the routine I fall into takes place. There isn't a single day where I don't need him. Always the same times of the day. As soon as I wake up, around three in the afternoon, just before I go to sleep...Sometimes even in the middle of the night. It's beyond tiring. And I feel so sorry for him.

He will never tell me how he really feels. As I lay crying in his arms, he only ever gives me words of encouragement and love. Telling me that he's fine and that it will get better. That these feelings will leave me eventually. But I don't feel like they'll ever stop. And I know he's sick and tired of it all.

But he loves me. His love for me is killing him. And in effect, killing me too.

Our 'afternoon session' is over. Yet another forced moment that neither of us enjoyed. I sigh, pushing myself away from him to get back into my clothes. I feel so disgusted at this whole situation. I wish I had the strength to stop. Make these moments matter the way they always have done. But I don't know when that will be.

I feel his arms around my waist as he presses a tiny kiss on my shoulder.

“I love you,” he mumbles, pulling me back against him. His skin is so warm against my own. This is the moment that I should be wanting him. So pure and honest. Just like him. But I don't. I'm exhausted. I hum tiredly, linking my fingers with his.

“I love you too.” It's so redundant to say it. But I need to get the words out. I turn to kiss him gently, something that we just don't do during those forced moments. This is how I wish it would be.

“I need to take Rina to the garage today,” he tells me softly. Well, that's random. “She wants help buying a car.”

“Why can't Mark go?”

“You know I know much more about cars than he does.”

“True.” I nuzzle my nose against him. “So what am I going to do?”

“I thought you would want to spend time with Mark?”

I can feel my face light up. I haven't seen him for so long. Not because of this, thankfully. He's just been unbelievably busy with his kids for the past couple of weeks that he's become MIA. We don't usually go this long without having some form of contact. So this idea of spending time with him really cheers me up.

Glen smiles happily with me. He knows how much Mark means to me. And, to be honest, he feels the same about Rina. They are the best of friends. They talk about everything. If this was the other way around, I know just how happy he would be too.

I can barely contain my excitement as we make our way to the door. I'm practically bouncing rather than walking. I can hear Glen's laughter as he keeps hold of my hand, keeping me from leaping off course and into the oncoming traffic. I grin up at him, feeling just like a child on Christmas day. These are the moments we hold on to. This is why we're still going. No matter how hard it gets.