The End Where I Begin (Book Four of the Glen Power Series)

Chapter 36

You miss Glen...

That's a lie. I don't miss him. How can I miss a man that walked out me?

Your babies need their daddy...

Their 'daddy' abandoned them. They don't need him. They don't need anyone but me.

You're alone...

I'm not alone. I've never been alone. I've got Mark. And Mark loves me.

But you don't love him.

Yes I do. I love Mark. I love him...

You love Glen.

“No!”

I scream the word out into the silence. My heart is pounding with anger at my own subconscious. How could it even think of such cruel things?

“Are you okay?”

I love Mark. Not Glen. Mark. I got over him. So no matter how hard my babies kick, no matter how much seeing his face hurts...Nothing will take away the love I feel when I look at Mark. He's everything I ever wanted. Why can't I just be happy with what I've got for a change?

“Em?”

“What?!” I snap, my eyes darting to glare at him. And all I see in return is heartache.

Ever since that day, my patience has been thin. I haven't been sleeping. I've barely been eating. And more importantly, the babies have been silent. I think I'm losing my mind. Losing the will to try any more.

And he's getting the brunt of it all.

“I asked if you're okay,” he mumbles. “But I don't know why I even bothered.”

I sigh, rubbing my painful temples to try and release the strain. This isn't his fault. He doesn't deserve any of this. He's been perfect throughout this whole thing. The least I could do is let him in.

“I'm just...I'm not sleeping,” I say tiredly.

Getting up from under the covers, my new home for the past couple of days, I pad over to him and rest my cheek on his chest. He's so warm...

“I didn't mean to snap,” I mumble against him, playing with the hem of his shirt nervously. “I'm just so tired. Can you forgive me?”

He doesn't answer. His heart races in my ear, but he doesn't say a word. I look up at him and see his jaw locked tight as he fights back the tears. I try to meet his eyes, but he avoids my gaze at all costs. What's going on?

“Mark?”

But he still doesn't respond. I grab his face and pull his gaze to me, only to have him close his eyes. Shutting me out. I can't help but feel a twinge of distress in the pit of my stomach.

“What are you doing?” I ask, panic ripe in my shaking voice. “Why aren't you looking at me?” Still no reply. “Mark, seriously, stop this. This isn't funny.” More silence. “Mark, please. Stop it. Don't shut me out. Don't keep secrets from me.”

“What right do you have to say that?” His voice is heavy, weighed with what sounds like defeat.

“What d'you mean?”

“You've been keeping everything from me.”

“I don't know what you're talking about.”

At this, he opens his eyes. They shimmer with the tears that fill them. His bottom lip quivers despite his attempts to hold his composure.