The End Where I Begin (Book Four of the Glen Power Series)

Chapter 9

Time ticks by almost agonisingly slow. We're all counting down the days. Holding our breath, just in case this moment of euphoria is brought crashing down around us. We can't even really enjoy the glorious idea of having twins until that day comes.

So when the twelfth week arrives, everyone walks on eggshells around me. And by that, I mean they practically shunt me out. Not spitefully of course. But if they're going anywhere, I'm never invited. I'm left out of inside jokes for the fear of laughing too hard and hurting the babies....

Yeah, I know. That's a bit pedantic. And the only reason I found out was because Glen sheepishly admitted it to me one night after I was particularly upset about the whole thing. I mean, come on! I got hit by a car the last time. I think my stomach can handle having a joke with my friends...

To keep the upset from getting to me too much, I become that hermit that I joked about with Glen. I practically lock myself away in the bedroom, lying in bed for the entire day. I only come out when I'm desperate for the toilet or I need a drink or something to eat. I can see their worried looks, but I don't care. They pushed me out in the first place. I know when I'm not wanted.

I've lost all sense of time. For all I know, it could be three weeks since I last saw anyone. All I do is sleep. What kind of life is this?

As normal, I wake up when the world is dark. Glen is asleep next to me. His arm is draped across me. A clear indication of the affection he's trying to convince himself he's showing me. I can't stand it. Not today.

I peel his arm from me and kick back the covers gently. As carefully as I can, I get out of bed and make my way into the living room. For the first time in so long, I crave the silence. I sit on the settee and close my eyes. As I listen to the sounds of the house, I become more content than I've been in a long time. The gentle humming of the fridge, the tiny creaks of the floor...all of these soothe me, lulling me into a sense of security. These things can't hurt me.

I must drift into a doze, because I open my eyes to find Glen kneeling in front of me. His blue eyes are peering at me with a mixture of confusion and worry. Most days I would feel honoured to be the one he's so worried about. But today...

“What you doing out here, babe?” he asks. “It's the middle of the night. Are you okay?”

I don't answer him. I don't even meet his eyes. I just lay here, hoping that maybe he'll go away. But he doesn't. He gently scoops me into his arms and carries me back to the bedroom, laying me gently on our bed. He tries to snuggle up to me, but I can feel my body tense. He doesn't get to exclude me all this time and then suddenly act like nothing has happened. That's just not fair.

He can feel it too. I know he can, because he tries to bring himself closer to me. In response, I turn my back to him, pulling harshly away from his grip. The harder he tries to hold me, the further I push myself away. And as he sits up to confront me, I throw the covers off to get out of the bed. I'm not doing this. I'm not having this argument.

“Hey,” he says firmly, irritation ripe in his voice. “What the hell is your problem?”

“It doesn't matter,” I snap, making my way to the door.

“You can't wait to get away from me, when I've done nothing wrong. I think that matters.”

“You wouldn't care anyway.”

“I'm your husband. Of course I fucking care.”

“Don't swear at me!” I scream in uncontrollable anger, spinning to face him. The look of shock on his face just bounces right off me as the venom flies out of my mouth. “You have been ignoring me all week! Having in jokes with all our friends! Having a fucking blast! And what have I been doing? Lying in this shitty bed, all on my own, wondering when anyone will come and make sure I haven't died!”