The End Where I Begin (Book Four of the Glen Power Series)

Chapter 19

Everything has changed.

It was inevitable really. You can't cheat on someone without some form of punishment. That's what I did, isn't it? I cheated on Glen. No matter how much people sugar coat it, tell me it was for my own safety...I committed the ultimate crime. And I'm paying the price for it.

Despite what he told me that awful day, Glen has pushed me away. He won't look at me. He barely talks to me. The only thing he does is give me what I need. He goes through the motions, following my lead as that horrible person I become takes over. And as soon as it's done, he tears himself away from me. By turning away or leaving the room altogether. Nothing I can do will help. All my efforts of getting him to open up fall at the first huddle.

I think I'm losing him.

Once again, I've woken up in a cold bed. He must have slept on the sofa again. I sigh, pushing myself up. And it's only then that I hear his voice. I don't know what he's saying, but it sounds like the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. It's almost like it's calling to me.

I wander through to the kitchen, following the sound. It's been a while since I've heard it. Peeking in, I see him sat at the table with his phone to his ear. The anguish on his face sends pains through me, shattering my heart into a million tiny pieces. I open my mouth to speak to him...

“I can't do this any more.”

I freeze, blood running cold. What did he just say? I quickly hide behind the door, heart pounding with adrenaline.

“It isn't fair, Rina. Nothing is the same since I caught them. Nothing. I can't even look at her without imagining...”

I hear him sigh. A heavy, emotionally charged sound that echoes through the silent house. A sound that expresses everything that he's feeling. All because of me...

“I'm starting to wonder if this is all worth it. Is literally killing myself for her worth it? Forcing myself to do all these things for her when I just feel sick at the sight of her...”

I feel my stomach turn. I revolt him. How can I go on with him knowing this?

“I know it's for the babies!” His voice has raised slightly. “You don't think I know that? But a hell of a lot of unfair shit is being asked of me! This was her decision! I told her to get rid of them! Why should I have to deal with all of this? I didn't even want them in the first place!”

He sighs again, clearly listening to Rina's side in the story.

“Yeah. You're right. I know. I just...I need to get out of here for a bit. I have a couple of hours before...Yeah. I'll meet you there. See you later.”

I force back the tears, trying to come to terms with what I've just heard. Not only do I revolt him, but he resents me for choosing to keep our children. And he wants to get as far away from me as physically possible. Nothing that anyone has ever done to me has hurt me as much as this has. Not even...

He doesn't see me as he makes his way to the door. I watch him, wondering where the hell we went wrong. Why does this always happen to us? Why can't we just have a normal life together?

As he puts his coat on, he catches sight of me in the corner of his eye. His head turns and our gaze meets. But he quickly breaks it, looking down at the floor as he adjusts the hood.

“I'm going out,” he says flatly.

“Okay.”

“Want anything?”

“No.”

He turns to leave and I realise I have more to say.

“Glen?” He halts, hand on the door handle. “I'm sorry.”

He doesn't say anything. Doesn't even move. So I continue.

“I wish I could take it back. I wish it never happened. You don't know how much I wish I could take away all the pain that I've caused you. But I can't. There's nothing I can do. I just...I wish you would let me in. Tell me how you feel. Because I have no idea how to help if you won't talk to me.”

He stands there. Frozen in this moment in time. Refusing to look at me, speak to me. It's killing me...

“Please, baby. Say something. Anything.” But he gives me nothing. I sigh, exhausted of trying any more. “You know, this hurts me as well as you. I didn't like doing it. And Mark...”

“Don't talk to me about him.”

His voice is hard and cold. So unlike the man I fell in love with all those years ago. Piercing through the tension between us, it slices my heartstrings like a blade.

“Baby...”

“If you're going to talk to me, you do not say his name.”

“He's just as involved in this as we are. You can't expect...”

“I can expect,” he snarls, finally spinning around to face me. The anger in him blazes, causing those beautiful eyes of his to bore straight through to the heart of me. “If you have any respect for my feelings, then you do not bring him up in front of me.”

I can understand that he's angry at me. Hell, I would be livid if I was in his shoes. But to take this out on Mark...

“This was your idea, Glen,” I say firmly. “You told him to do it. You have no right to be angry at him for doing what you made him do.”

“Excuse me for being bothered about walking in on my wife going at it with her best friend.”

“You can be bothered. Jesus Christ, Glen, of course you can be bothered. But don't go telling me that I can't talk about him. Not when you know how much he means to me. That's just not fair.”

“You fucked him, Emie,” he screams. “ Right in front of my eyes! And you loved it! I'm the one who has to deal with that! I'm the one that has to look at you every single day! I'm the one who has to give it to you, even though I don't want to! Because all I can think of is the look on your face whilst he fucked you! How the fuck is that fair?”

“It's not...”

“Then don't you dare talk to me about what's fair in all of this! Don't you dare tell me how to react! Because you have no fucking clue what this feels like!”

I know I don't. That's what makes this even worse. I can't even begin to imagine how difficult this is for him. And there's nothing I can do to help.

He huffs angrily and throws the door open. As he takes a step out, I seriously panic that he won't come back. I need him to come back.

“Glen...” His eyes bore into my skull again. “I love you.”

Those eyes don't falter. They don't soften. They don't do anything but glare.

“Yeah.”  

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A/N - Hallo! Just a short chapter here. Hopefully it's as powerful as I intended. What do you think will happen now? And is Glen being unreasonable? Or is Emie unreasonable? Or what? Just lemme know! Vote, comment, do your thing. Much love x