The day of the scan is finally here. This was around the time that I had it the last time. You would think that I would be less nervous. But I'm even more so this time.
There was only a couple of weeks between the scan and the accident. I was twelve weeks pregnant when I lost my baby. Now, I'm ten weeks. Two weeks difference. Two more weeks until I can start to calm down. Well. As much as I can anyway.
The atmosphere in the waiting room is a lot different this time around too. The excitement and wonder that overtook us the last time isn't here. Instead, we sit in anxious silence. Praying that everything will go straight forward. That there's no complications. Nothing that's going to cause any more worry than we already have on our plate.
But the one good thing that's happened is that my morning sickness seems to have lifted. I mean, meat still makes me feel a little queasy, but I can get a full night sleep now. The effect that it's had on my mood is amazing. And now that Glen is getting sleep as well, he seems to be a little more cheerful. We aren't the same as we were before, but I don't feel like he's pushing me away any more. He talks to me about his worries, opens up when he's having a bad day. I feel like he can tell me anything now.
But not today. He's in a world of his own as I glance over at him. Arms crossed, staring at the wall in front of him, I can't imagine what's going through his mind. The look in his eyes is hard. He's gone back to the unrecognisable man I lived with. I need to get him back.
I rest my hand on his knee and he blinks, turning his head to me. Immediately, his expression softens and turns into concern. He's back. My Glen is back.
“Everything okay?” he asks.
“I was just lonely.” He exhales in relief, a small smile playing on his lips. “You were deep in thought there.”
“Sorry, babe. I was just...thinking.”
“What about?”
“Nothing important.”
“Your face said otherwise.”
He sighs, pulling me close to him. I snuggle into his chest, knowing that he won't want me to look at him right now. Talking to me about this hurts him more than he could ever tell me. I want this to be as easy for him as possible.
“I'm just worried,” he admits eventually, running his thumb across the knuckles of my hand that he's taken hold of. “We have no idea what could happen in there. And even if it is all okay, then we've still got a couple more weeks to deal with. Twelve weeks was when...” His voice trails off, but I know what he means.
“I'm not going to get in any cars,” I say, trying to lighten the mood. I feel him chuckle nervously. The ice is broken so I'll just carry on. “I'm going to stay in the house, away from everyone. Make a little fort under the covers and get you to feed me every so often. Become a hermit called Steve...”
“Steve?”
“Yeah. I think I'd make a good Steve.”
“So you'll just change gender overnight?”
“That was the plan. It can't be that difficult. I mean, all I need to do is grown a penis and I'm all set.”
I can sense his smile. I don't need to be looking at him. I know him well enough to know that he's cheering up again. His grip tightens ever so slightly on me with his amusement.
“And what happens to me in this whole scenario?”
“You turn gay for me. Duh.”
He laughs and pulls my face up to look at him. I've missed that twinkle in his eyes...
YOU ARE READING
The End Where I Begin (Book Four of the Glen Power Series)
RomansaA year after Long Gone and Moved On, and Emie and Glen are happily married. But will that all stay that way? A life changing event hits the newlyweds and affects everyone around them. Friendships, relationships and morality is challenged in the fina...