The End Where I Begin (Book Four of the Glen Power Series)

Authors Note

Hi everyone. I just want to kind of explain where I'm at right now. After last night's status, I guess you need a reason for it.

I don't know what's wrong with me really. But the big issue right now is that I'm not sleeping. I get maybe 4-5 hours a night, and then have to work in a highly stressful environment where I'm basically the scum of the earth to them. And my home life isn't exactly great either. So I guess the general gist of this is that I'm not happy. Probably falling slowly into depression. And that sucks.

But I have two passions: writing and acting.

I've always acted. It's the only thing I think I'm truly good at. I'm in a youth theatre group where I usually go to destress. But that's just gone to shit basically. So that form of escape has been taken away from me. And it's like a piece of me is missing.

Writing...well that's a new one. I don't know how I fell into it, but sometimes I just feel like I fall into a new world as I type the words. And my own stresses just seem to disappear. I guess that's why I'm writing the way that I am right now. A piece of myself goes into everything I write. And I would like to think that it's a reason my stories are so effective to a lot of you. It probably isn't...but I have to give myself something, right?

This is where the real issue comes in.

Now, don't get me wrong. I value opinions. I always have done and always will.  And this particular story is dealing with a very difficult issue. I'm trying to show the different sides of an issue such as infidelity. Don't get me wrong, I don't think cheating is right in the slightest. But I've tried to write it in a way that breaks boundries. To see it from a different side. To see how everyone involved deals with it. Not just the one who's been cheated on. 

I've grown attached to these characters that I've created. Every time I write a chapter, my heart breaks with them as I find new motives for what they do. As I realise why they do what they do. I have to literally become them as I work out each chapter, find songs that illustrate their feelings. It's incredibly hard work. Especially since I'm basing them on people we love and admire so much.

So. Like I said. I appreciate opinions. But it is extremely disheartening to hear the hate towards my favourite character to write. A good few people have ripped into Mark like he doesn't matter. That all that matters is Glen. When actually, no. Glen isn't the only one that matters. Emie matters. Rina matters. MARK MATTERS. It's almost like the point I've been trying to prove in this whole story has been ignored, and that just makes me feel like shit, if I'm honest. And writing is supposed to get me away from all of this.

I'm not going to spoil the ending. But I've been extremely tempted the past few days to just go 'fuck it' and write 'and they all lived happily ever after. The End.' Just to give people what they want. But that's not the ending that I want to give you. I want to push you to the furthest limit and give you an ending this book deserves. And I can only hope that you actually want that too.

So, if you don't like where I'm going with this, then stop reading. I would much prefer it than receive such venom about a guy that I truly love writing about. But if you want to follow through and see the end, but don't like the content of a certain chapter, either don't comment or just tell me about the style of my writing. I'll know through then that you don't agree with my opinions, but want to stick through with me til the end.

And for those of you that enjoy this rollercoaster ride I'm taking you on...I can only thank you. And I hope that you stick with me until the end. I love you all. I honestly do. 

This is all a whole load worse because of the lack of sleep. So this could be a massive over reaction. But its how I feel. And I guess I just need...either silence or constructive criticism right now. This truly is my only escape. Please don't take that from me.

Thanks for listening to my massive thing. Didn't actually mean it to be this long. Much love guys x