The End Where I Begin (Book Four of the Glen Power Series)

Chapter 14

My heart pounds as I try to wrap my head around what has just happened. The cogs in my brain whir as I desperately try to find any logical reason as to why I've just gone and done what I've done. What would make a person turn into...what the hell would you even call what I was?

Insane.

The word rings through my head but I know its not true. This is nothing to do with my mental state. This is something that I should have control over. But I'm weak. And I want this more than I will ever admit to. The shame that washes over me is cold. What kind of person does that make me?

And now I have to go face the people that I love them most. Confront the damage that I've caused. See the looks in their eyes as they look at me...

Oh God.

I push myself up, slowly dressing myself. Trying to drag this out for as long as I possible. The silence is horrible, but I can't bring myself to go any quicker. The longer I take, the longer I have to think about what the hell I'm going to say. Because right now, I have no idea what that will be.

I force myself up, sneaking to the door. I peek through the crack and see them all there. Sat around in the living room in dead silence. All sitting apart from each other. None of them looking at the other. Their faces etched with humiliation, pain and anger.

All of this because of me.

I bite the bullet and open the door. I don't really know what I expect at this moment. Shouting, the cold shoulder, even violence. The only one to look up is Rina. And the pain in her eyes...I hang my head in shame and take a seat on the floor, well away from all of them. Even if I wanted to, I wouldn't push my luck right now. Not in the current circumstances.

The silence is awful. I wish someone, anyone, would break it. But what can be said? How the hell do we move on from what's just happened? I honestly have no idea. And that idea scares me more than anything.

“I think you deserve us an explanation, Emie.” Her voice is hard. So unlike the woman I know. I wince at the sound, keeping my eyes fixed on the ground in front of me.

“The doctor says...”

“I want to hear it from her, Glen,” she snaps.

“Rina...”

“Shut the fuck up, Mark. I want to hear what the fuck was going through her head as she tried to sleep with my husband. I want to hear her say it.”

I can feel myself picking at the carpet, trying to keep myself calm. She's right. She deserves an explanation. But how can I give her one when I don't know what it is myself?

“I don't know,” I whimper, feeling the atmosphere darken with my words. “I don't know what was going through my head. I just...”

“You just what, Emie? You just thought it was acceptable to try and fuck my husband in my bedroom?”

“No...”

“Then what? What could possibly make you think that it was okay to do that?”

“I couldn't help it.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“I'm sorry.”

“Oh, okay, yeah. Fine. An apology will make this all go away will it?”

“No...”

“You stole my husband once. And now you've tried to do it again? In my bed? What kind of friend are you? Do you even care? Do you even give a shit about any of us?”