The End Where I Begin (Book Four of the Glen Power Series)

Chapter 30

Goodbye.

As the letter falls out of my hands, that one word etches itself into my heart. A permanent scar that will forever remind me of what I've done. His parting statement, so cold and cruel...

Goodbye.

I grip my chest as the realisation comes crashing down around me. My heart is going at the speed of light, making my head spin. I only just feel the tears as they fall. Their coolness against my burning cheeks only just register. Everything apart from the pain in my chest is irrelevant.

Goodbye.

I've lost him. I've pushed him away. He's given up on me. I'm alone. And I'm totally to blame.

I glance up at Danny. Perhaps I'm hoping for some answers. Or maybe some form of retribution for my actions. Maybe even forgiveness. But the look on his face isn't what I want.

I don't know what it is. I think it could be a bit of anger, blended with the slightest hint of sympathy. There might even be a flicker of sadness there. None of these are what I want to see there. I want...

I don't know what I want.

“He's gone,” I choke out.

All I get is a nod in response. My chest tightens as I begin to struggle to breathe. I don't know where to look. I just need to find some relief in this horrific news...

“What did you do to him, Emie?”

My head starts pounding and I cover my ears with my hands. I'm not doing this. I'm not getting into this with him. He doesn't have the right to know...

“He's a broken man. You've done something to him. Something pretty fucking awful. So bad that it's made him walk out on not only you, but your unborn children. That's not the Glen that I know. So what did you do to him?”

“Stop it,” I whisper.

“He told me that you were with 'him'. Who's 'he', Emie? Is it Mark?”

“Please stop...”

“Tell me you're not fucking him, Emie. For the love of everything, tell me you're not fucking Mark.”

The silence between us says it all. I dare not meet his eyes out of fear of the judgement I'll see. But the mention of Mark's name soothes me. I feel my heart slow down as I remember his face. The twinkle in his eye. The sound of his laugh...

“What the fuck are you thinking, Em?” I hear Danny snarl, and I feel my guard go up again. “Glen is your husband. You're everything to him. Why ruin it by jumping into bed with Mark?”

“It's not like that.” I can hear the coldness in my voice.

“What's it like then, Emie?”

“You wouldn't understand.”

“Try me.”

I glare up at him, his own hard stare matching mine. Alright then, O'Donoghue. You want the truth. Buckle up...

“If I don't get sex, then I'll die,” I snarl. The look of horror on his face would amuse me usually. But not today. “The ulcer will flare up again under any high level of stress and this time it can't be stopped. And being refused sex is one of those stressful moments. And I need it all the time. And for some reason, Glen's stopped being enough.”

“So you just thought that he wouldn't mind you banging your best mate?” The edge to his voice is cruel. Understandable, but I'm having it.

“No, you arsehole. It wasn't like that at all. He wasn't there, and it got out of control. And it was Mark that was there. Glen had to stop it. But...stopping him that once wasn't enough. So when he had to leave to go home, he had no choice to agree to it. I had to sleep with Mark, otherwise I would die.”