The End Where I Begin (Book Four of the Glen Power Series)

Chapter 34

Divorce.

That's a word I never thought I would hear again. Not since my mum and dad split up when I was seventeen. It's a cold, harsh word. It means that there is no love any more. That you are a failure at loving the person you were meant to for the rest of your life. You broke your vows and forsaken the world of romance. Divorce basically is the death of love.

To hear one of your friends say it is awful. But for them to say it because of you...that's even worse.

I walk into the kitchen to find Mark. Since seeing Rina a couple of hours ago, he's not been the same. Of course, I don't expect him to be. To hear something like that...I can't even begin to imagine it.

I don't know what to do. I don't know how to help him. This is my fault. What right do I have to help him through this? I want to go over to him and tell him it's going to be okay. But it's not. It's never going to be okay again.

I must make some kind of noise because his eyes lift from the floor. Those warm eyes that usually look at me seem dazed. Lost. Broken. And that breaks my heart more than anything.

“I'm so sorry.” I know the words mean nothing to him right now. But I had to say it. It's the least I can do right now.

He just stares at me. The lights are on but there's no one home. He's lost to the world. And I don't know what will bring him back. But I don't think that I'm the answer.

“Do you want me to give you some space?” I ask. “I can go stay with Danny...”

My voice trails off as he shakes his head. I nod in understanding, waiting for him to give me something. Any indication of what he wants me to do. How I can help him out in this terrifying moment. Because I don't have the answer.

“I didn't think it would come to this,” I hear him say quietly. “I didn't know I would hurt so many people.” His eyes focus on me properly and I see the tears in them. “I didn't want to hurt anyone.”

“I know.”

“I just wanted to be happy.”

“I know, Mark.”

“I'm such a horrible person...”

“No, you're not.” His eyes look away from me guiltily. “You got caught up in a whirlwind of emotions. Why does that make you a bad person?”

“I should have thought of my wife and children. I should have talked to Rina. Told her that I was struggling. Not left it until the very end. When I couldn't control my feelings any more. Maybe this would have hurt her less. Maybe that would have made me a better person.”

As his eyes meet mine again, I realise that he's right. We probably could have handled this in a totally different way. He could have talked it through with his wife. Helped her understand what was going on in his head...

“What are you going to do?” His voice brings me back, making me tilt my head in confusion. “If Rina's asking me for a divorce, then what about you?”

My heart shatters as I realise what he means. He won't be alone in this process. I'm going to have to think about my own divorce...

I groan at the poor timing of my little angels inside of me. I rub my stomach to try and soothe them, but they aren't having any of it.

“Not now, little monsters,” I soothe. “Mummy needs to think right now.”

“They need their dad.” I look back up at him, gobsmacked at his blunt words. “He needs to be here for them.”

“He left,” I say coldly, wincing as one of the twins kicks hard against me.

“But they're going to need their dad.”