The Drunken Feathers

Scene V

(MRS. FITZHERBERT's house that night. MRS. FITZHERBERT sits quietly in the drawing room while reading. Suddenly, urgent voices and commotion are heard from outside the room. MRS. FITZHERBERT is concerned and stands up. Suddenly, LORD SOUTHAMPTON, LORD ONSLOW, the HON. EDWARD BOUVERIE, and KEATE, all flushed and out of breath, burst into the room, followed by SERVANT #4.)

SERVANT #4

Forgive me, madam, I could not...

LORD SOUTHAMPTON

(Panting)

Are you...Mrs. Fitzherbert?

MRS. FITZHERBERT

(With concern and suspicion)

Yes. What is the meaning of this?

LORD SOUTHAMPTON

I...am Lord Southampton...the Head of the household...belonging to His Royal Highness the Prince of Wales.

(Nods to LORD ONSLOW)

LORD ONSLOW

I am Lord Onslow...a member...of His Royal Highness' household.

(Nods to BOUVERIE)

HON. BOUVERIE

I am...the Hon. Edward Bouverie, another member of His Royal Highness' household.

(Nods to KEATE)

KEATE

And I am...Mr. Thomas Keate...His Royal Highness' surgeon.

MRS. FITZHERBERT

What could necessitate you gentlemen coming to my house so late at night?

LORD SOUTHAMPTON

Mrs. Fitzherbert, we regret to inform you that the life of the Prince is in imminent danger. You must come with us to Carlton House immediately.

MRS. FITZHERBERT

Even if I had cause to believe you, nothing will induce me to enter Carlton House. I must turn you gentlemen away, for I will not go with you. Goodnight.

(MRS. FITZHERBERT almost exits, but KEATE pulls a bloodied handkerchief out of his pocket and holds it up.)

MRS. FITZHERBERT (cont.)

What is that, sir?

KEATE

The Prince's blood... He has stabbed himself tonight.

(MRS. FITZHERBERT stares at KEATE in complete shock and horror.)

KEATE (cont.)

His Royal Highness is alive, but very weak; we fear only your immediate presence will save him.

MRS. FITZHERBERT

Now I know your designs. What a nasty trick to play on a lady in the middle of the night. The indecency of such a request appalls me beyond...

LORD ONSLOW

This is no trick, madam; we came on our own accord, not the Prince's.

MRS. FITZHERBERT

I blame not the Prince, but you gentlemen, for conspiring to ruin me.

LORD SOUTHAMPTON

If we conspire, madam, it is only to save His Royal Highness' life.

KEATE

There must be something we might say to persuade you against your inclination.

MRS. FITZHERBERT

There is not. I am resolute.

(The gentlemen ponder a minute before LORD SOUTHAMPTON comes up with an idea.)

LORD SOUTHAMPTON

Suppose we should find a suitable female chaperone to accompany you to Carlton?

(The other gentlemen are optimistic about this idea, but MRS. FITZHERBERT is still not convinced.)

MRS. FITZHERBERT

What decent lady would volunteer to do that at this hour?

(The gentlemen think about this and look at each other. Cut to Scene VI.)