The Drunken Feathers

Scene IV

(Carlton House is shown on a cloudy late afternoon. The PRINCE OF WALES, looking disheveled, thin, and sickly, is shown sitting at his desk in his bedchamber in morning dress. He is pale with dark circles around his eyes and has not shaved or bathed in several days. His mannerisms are erratic, often fidgeting, and his hands shake slightly as he taps his foot. His bedchamber is dark and messy, with a half-empty bottle of brandy next to him on the desk.)

PRINCE OF WALES

(Hurriedly)

My physicians believe I have a disorder of the mind characterized by intense, alternating periods of high and low spirits, as well as acute nervousness.

FOX

(Shocked, unsure of what to say.)

Do they, now?

PRINCE OF WALES

I have experienced these symptoms since I was 18 or so, but I was able to hide them because they were often accompanied by a fever. But I have always felt my physical illnesses begin in the mind and are in fact attributed to it.

FOX

Right... Well...

PRINCE OF WALES

They say in many cases, nervous disorders are hereditary, but how can that be when the Queen is at all times cool and collected, as is the King, except when I've done something to upset him? I disappoint them in every respect; 'tis not a wonder they have no love for me.

FOX

Their majesties must love Your Royal Highness. Who could resist loving you with all your... fine qualities?

PRINCE OF WALES

You do not understand, Charles; nobody loves me. I cannot recall ever being told so. The only creature in the world whom I thought might love me is...

(A knock at the door. The PRINCE OF WALES jumps out of his seat, startling FOX, and runs to the door. He throws the door open, finding PAGE #1, who is slightly startled. He holds a letter.)

PAGE #1

A letter addressed to Your Royal Highness from...

(The PRINCE OF WALES hurriedly grabs the letter and shuts the door in PAGE #1's face before he can finish talking. The PRINCE OF WALES dashes back to his desk, rips the letter open, and begins to read.)

FOX

What is it?

PRINCE OF WALES

(Disappointed)

Another goddamn bill.

(The PRINCE OF WALES throws the letter on the floor next to FOX, who picks it up and begins to read with astonishment. The PRINCE OF WALES paces back in forth while rubbing his hands anxiously.)

FOX

(Incredulously)

You purchased 100 pairs of white gloves, 20 pairs of boots, and 40 snuff boxes last week? You don't even take snuff.

PRINCE OF WALES

I thought it might help with the nervousness, but I found the stuff odious, so I shan't take any more.

FOX

But why did you feel it necessary to...

PRINCE OF WALES